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Band 6

Avoiding preventable illness is the responsibility of individuals and their families, not governments. Do you agree?

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Many argued that avoiding a preventable illness is the duty of each individual or their family. But is that just enough to do? I cannot agree with
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this opinions
Suggestion
these opinions
this opinion
 and I think the one that should to do is the governments. Because the governments have an obligation, duty, and have control about the best way how to avoid them. Avoiding preventable ill
health
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 is one of the concerns of Public
health
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. Public
health
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 itself is “the science and art of preventing disease, prolonging life and promoting
health
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 through the organized efforts and informed choices of society, organizations, public and private, communities and individuals” (Winslow, 1920). I believe that the
government
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 is the main actor to avoid preventable illness. The
first
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 reason why is because the authority has regulations on human rights especially in
health
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. As we know that all humans have human rights, and those human rights become the politics's obligation to protect it. So, to solve that, the regime made
Health
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 policy. The United Nations` World
Health
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 Organization (WHO) defines
Health
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 policy refers to choices, strategy, and activities that are embraced to achieve specific
health
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 care goals in a society. For reaching that goal the authority in control of setting and enforcing standards to avoid preventable ill
health
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 in public. To do the standardization, the ministry must ensure that the environment occupied by the residents is safe and healthy. As,
for example
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, the availability of clean water, nutritious food, sanitation like sewers and waste processing, etc. If the occupied environment is not worthy to be occupied, the community effort to live healthier and prevention of the disease will not be optimal or can’t run well.
Secondly
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, lack of concern for public
health
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 education from the state can take big impact for the
health
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 quality in a country. It can be proved that a country whose
government
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 educate about
health
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 from child or elementary school has
health
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 level is higher than the country that not care about
health
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 education.
Therefore
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, the lifestyle will be different because the lifestyle is already a habit.
Then
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 the good habit will give impact by increasing public awareness of
health
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.
Government
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 it should be always persuaded the public to live healthy. Not only when there is a case arise like a pandemic,
then
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 governments just to take action encourages healthy living. Culture shock will be happening, people are hard to follow instruction from
government
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 because it’s not part of the habit. The areas of public
health
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 responsibility include guaranteeing a satisfactory
health
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 infrastructure, advancing healthy communities and healthy behaviours, protecting against environmental
health
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 hazards. At the end, I will conclude that avoiding preventable illness, it’s
government
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 duty, not for individuals or their family. Governments actually have full responsibility and concern about the preventable ill
health
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 and healthy life.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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