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With major cities continue growing, are there any problems to young people? How to solve these problems?

#cities #people
With the uneven distribution of resources and pursuits of a better life, nowadays
,
Accept space
,
 more and more people are moving from rural areas to cities.
This
 phenomenon unconsciously creates some problems to the younger generation living in the city. To live healthily is very important for the young, as they are the future hope for the countries.
However
, young people who live in the city can seldom live a healthy life, as the continuously growing city makes their commuting
time
 longer than before. Young people have to either sacrifice their spare
time
 or sleep hours so that they can reach their workplace on
time
. Their physical health conditions keep dropping due to the reduction of the sleep
time which
Accept comma addition
time, which
, in my opinion, is a very urgent problem that the society need to focus on. Apart from their physical conditions, mental health is
also
 a problem that we should concern about. With the increase of population, there are less and less opportunities in career left to the younger generation, which makes it more difficult for them to get a promotion.
This
 increasing competition makes the young feel nervous about their future and intensify
their pressure which
Suggestion
their pressure, which
 will lead to some kinds of
metal
involving the mind or an intellectual process
mental
 health problems. To target these problems,
government
Suggestion
the government
have
Suggestion
has
 to be involved in.
First
 of all, in order to reduce the commuting
time
 for young people, the government should improve the existing public transportation system to make it more efficient.
Secondly
, government can
also
 encourage companies to provide dormitory for their employees live far from the workplace. What’s more, as a
citizen young
Accept comma addition
citizen, young
 people should be more positive, as they have more potential to achieve their goals in the future.
Submitted by severusal1207 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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