IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

People have different views about the kind of support that wealthy nations should provide for poorer ones. Although some say that non-financial support is beneficial for poor countries, my own view is that international aid should be in the form of financial assistance.

There are several reasons to believe that practical assistance and advice are what developing countries need.
Firstly
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, an effective
education
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system
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 is a key factor in the growth of a
country
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, so advice on how to build
such
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 a
system
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 should be given to less wealthy countries.
For example
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, since the [your
country
Use synonyms
 name] school curriculum focuses heavily on theories, students cannot apply what they learn into practice and come up with creative ideas, which is why the
country
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 fails to make technological and economic progress. Advice and instructions from
developed
Suggestion
developing
 countries are
therefore
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 expected to help [your
country
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 name] improve their
education
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system
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.
Secondly
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, foreign assistance can
also
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 be given in terms of providing human resources. By having an additional number of well-educated and knowledgeable individuals work in their nations, hopefully less developed countries can escape from poverty.
However
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, I believe that financial support would be more useful for poorer nations. One argument is that even valuable ideas for
education
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 reform may be irrelevant if a
country
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 is financially disadvantaged. In the aforementioned example about [your
country
Use synonyms
 name], while it seems beneficial to re-organise the
education
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system
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,
this
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 cannot happen in the short run because there are a variety of costs associated with
education
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 reform,
such
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 as purchasing learning tools and training teachers.
Furthermore
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, financial resources provided by rich countries may help poorer
ones invest in
Suggestion
ones to invest in
 medical and scientific research. If a sufficient amount of money is spent on these areas, technological advances are significantly more likely to be made, and
such
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 innovations can help improve the economic growth of a nation.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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