Some people believe that children's Leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #leisure #activities #waste #time

According to some people, every

activity

that children pursue in

there

of them or themselves

their

free

time

should have some educational value. They believe that activities that do not teach anything are useless.I fully agree with

this

view.

when

Suggestion

When

children are taught with

education

Suggestion

educational

purposes in their free

time

, they learn with more enthusiasm and effortlessly.

For example

, In

recent survey

Suggestion

a recent survey

, it was reported that children who play games that serves educational purposes, have

more intellectual level

Suggestion

a more intellectual level

as compared to other children and learn more with pleasure. It

prove

Suggestion

proves

has proven

is proven

is proving

that learning can be a fun

activity

for children.

In addition

, leisure

time

activities that

serves

Suggestion

serve

educational elements can

also

be best of

child's

Suggestion

the child's time

a child's time

time

This

ensures that they do not waste

time

in activities that are

harmfull

causing or capable of causing harm

harmful

and useless.

For example

, children playing sports in their free

time

can

taught

Suggestion

teach

them benefits of healthy living.Another benefit of

educational leisure

Accept comma addition

educational, leisure

activity

is that it involves parents to teach

there

of them or themselves

their

kids, that enables them to strength parent

child

relationship. In conclusion, keeping in mind the various

benefit

Suggestion

benefits

educational leisure

Accept comma addition

educational, leisure

activity

that includes purposely using

child

time

and strengthening parent-

child

relationship, it should be used more in daily activities.

Submitted by Sal on Wed May 13 2020

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

194 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that children's Leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that in today's world subjects like Science and technology are more important than History. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Now a days, many people have to work longer hours, and they feel more stressed out than before. What are the reasons? What can employers do to make their employees' lives easier?

Many university students want to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others feel it is important to give all their time and attention to studying for their qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

If a person is found to be under the influence of drugs or alcohol while driving, they should be banned from driving for life, whether they were involved in an accident or not. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?