One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweight the disadvantages?

#consequences #care #people #life #expectancy #development #outweight

Medical techniques are more and more improved. Most people can restore their illness with improved medical

care

when they are sick. So

thesedays

Suggestion

these days

, people are not worried about death than

past

Suggestion

the past

. Obviously, there are the advantages and disadvantages of

this

advance

. Some people argue that the disadvantages are much bigger than the advantages are. They think that

this

medical

improment

the occurrence of a change for the worse

impairment

improvement

can cause meaningless increased

life

Also they

Accept comma addition

Also, they

argue that

this

situation makes confusions about

death meaning

Accept comma addition

death, meaning

and the society where there are many old people than young people.

Actually according

Accept comma addition

Actually, according

to a lot of articles, these problems are very serious problems.

Therefore we

Accept comma addition

Therefore, we

have to take an action to solve them. But there are some people who argue that the advantages of medical

advance

outweigh the disadvantages. They think that to improve medical

care

is important because sick people have to get the

care

. And they tell that

this

advance

brings longer

life

. So people can choose if they die or live more.

For

instance in

Accept comma addition

instance, in

the past time, people with

illness dead

Accept comma addition

illness, dead

because that contemporary medical techniques could not solve

this

problem.

However now

Accept comma addition

However, now

, the current medical techniques can solve most of medical problems. So people do not need to be worried about death. And people can choice if they get the

care

or not. In the world, the

life

is important. So

although

there are many disadvantages through medical improvement, we

can not

cannot

ignore the fact that

this

advance

can help

life

. So I think that the advantages of

this

improvement are bigger than disadvantages.

Submitted by bjsean on Wed May 13 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

257 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

life expectancy
medical advancements
workforce
wisdom
overpopulation
resource strain
aging population
healthcare costs
multigenerational
lifelong learning
retirement planning
pension systems
sustainable living
generational divide
personal growth
long-term goals

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One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweight the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people argue that social media platforms are essential for communication and staying connected, while others believe that they pose a threat to personal privacy. On which position do you stand? Discuss the supporting ideas for your chosen position.

What drives your interest in applying for the IISMA program

A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?