The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.

#proportion #population #three #countries

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The graph below provides information about the bonus of the society aged 65 and over during the 1940 to 2020 period in 3 different territories.

Overall

Linking Words

it is clear that

Linking Words

the lowest ratio of elderly people

were

Change the verb form

was

show examples

represented by Japan.

While

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on the

Linking Words

contrary

Add a comma

,contrary

show examples

the highest percentage of the latter was present in

USA

Correct article usage

the USA

show examples

. In 1940 the proportion of elderly people in the USA went through many considerable fluctuations during the period from 1940 until 2040 where it estimated a gradual growth,

Linking Words

however

Add the comma(s)

,however

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compared to the beginning the USA ratio

decrease

Wrong verb form

decreased

show examples

drastically, becoming

Change preposition

apply

show examples

2040 the territory with the lowest percentages. Some fluctuations occurred in Sweden as well,

Change preposition

apply

show examples

1940

this

Linking Words

territory accounted

Change preposition

for 5

show examples

% of

ancient

Add an article

an ancient

show examples

population,

Linking Words

however

Add the comma(s)

,however

show examples

it accomplished a markedly rose in 1980,

then

Linking Words

following other fluctuations until 2020, Sweden had a rapid

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

increase

Replace the word

increasingly

show examples

becoming the

second

Linking Words

country with the highest chunk of those people.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, at the

beginning

Add a comma

,beginning

show examples

Japan was the country that accounted

the

Change preposition

for the

show examples

lowest

percent

Replace the word

percentage

show examples

of these individuals.

This

Linking Words

situation drastically changed starting from

the

Change the article

apply

show examples

2020 until

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

2040 years,

where

Correct word choice

when

show examples

sharply

Change the word

sharp

show examples

and

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

fast

changed

Replace the word

change

show examples

occurred, making Japan the country with the highest fee

Submitted by turcotonia11 on Thu May 14 2020

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".

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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 3 times.

▼

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

195 words

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The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries.

In the future all cars,buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the diadvantages?

MANY PEOPLE THINK THAT MUSEUMS AND GALLERIES SHOULD ONLY SHOW WORK FROM LOCAL ARTISTS RATHER THAN WORK FROM OTHER COUNTRIES. DO YOU AGREE?

In some countries, young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of presssure to work hard on their studies. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

In the past, people used to travel abroad to look for many difference from their home country. Nowadays, cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. What are the reasond? do the adventages outweight disadventages?

schoole should stop using books for teaching to learn as they find them boring, and use films tv and computer instead. to what extent do you agree with this.