IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries, women are allowed to take maternity leave from their jobs during the first months after the birth of their babies. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #women #maternity #jobs #first #months #birth #babies
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is entirely prevalent and common in many societies that women are allowed to take
maternity
Use synonyms
 leave and stop working for some limited months. Some people are of the opinion that
this
Linking Words
 action is highly beneficial for women and
also
Linking Words
 babies, while others deem
this
Linking Words
 action as a problematic action in some cases.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both benefits and drawbacks of
maternity
Use synonyms
 leave and
also
Linking Words
 will present, whether the benefits outweigh the disadvantages or not.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, one dispute put forward in
favor
promote over another
favour
 of
maternity
Use synonyms
 leave is that it is a complete righteous measure for the welfare of female employees. Doctors believe that having a break from work can be incredibly conducive for physical health of mothers.
Moreover
Linking Words
, presence of mother in
first
Linking Words
 months is very essential for newborns' emotional and physical development. And since children are the future of any nation,
thus
Linking Words
 their normal growth and development is of paramount importance for any country.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
maternity
Use synonyms
 leave is very vital for every society.
Conversely
Linking Words
, it is stated that
maternity
Use synonyms
 leave can cause some issues in workplaces.
In other words
Linking Words
,
maternity
Use synonyms
 leave means that female employees are taking day-offs with pay for a few months, and during
this
Linking Words
 time, the
company
Use synonyms
 should get their other colleagues to fill in for them or sometimes the
company
Use synonyms
 should hire new employees to ensure that the daily operations are not impaired.
For example
Linking Words
, if a female employee can have 3 months
for
Suggestion
of
 her
maternity
Use synonyms
 break, and there are 5 people having their breaks for
maternity
Use synonyms
 reasons, the
company
Use synonyms
 may suffer a crisis of human resource, and the daily operations of
this
Linking Words
company
Use synonyms
 can be severely impaired.
Hence
Linking Words
, I think the provision of
maternity
Use synonyms
 leave does impact the operations of the
company
Use synonyms
 negatively. From the viewpoint of human rights, in my view, employed women should have
this
Linking Words
 privilege. Thanks to feminist movements in recent decades, the whole society has obtained a better understanding of the importance for women to have
maternity
Use synonyms
 breaks. In conclusion, despite the disadvantages that may affect the
company
Use synonyms
's operations management,
maternity
Use synonyms
 leave is proven to be extremely beneficial for both mothers and babies.
Submitted by nahid.rezaiesadr on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: