IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that purpose of museums should be to attract and entertain young people. Others believe that the purpose of a museum is to educate, not entertain. Disuss both view and give opinion

#people #purpose #museums #museum #disuss
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Museums are among the best places which gives vast historical information about the past of any place. Some people assume that a
museum
Use synonyms
 should be aimed for youth fun.Whereas, a group of others, believe that
such
Linking Words
 landmarks are to provide knowledge rather than entertainment.
This
Linking Words
 essay will
discus
to consider or examine in speech or writing
discuss
 both sides of the argument in detail and provide evidence as to why visiting
Use synonyms
museum
Suggestion
the museum
a museum
 for educational reason is superior. Due to modernization
,
Accept space
,
historical landmarks are considered to fascinate the youth. Because
,
Accept space
,
new generation
Suggestion
the new generation
 does not feel pleasure in visiting
such
Linking Words
 quite and calm places.
For instance
Linking Words
, the Turkey is a centre of attraction for their historical background which includes old buildings
,
Accept space
,
ferry ride
,
Accept space
,
dolmabache
Suggestion
 palace and beautiful mosques located in different regions. Apart from mosques, all other places in that country are designed
Linking Words
accordingly which
Suggestion
accordingly, which
 attract people by their music
,
Accept space
,
dance and culture.
However
Linking Words
, it brings
tourism which
Accept comma addition
tourism, which
 is economically beneficial for the country. A number of the community, agree that
Use synonyms
museum
Suggestion
the museum
 is to educate the new generation. To some extent, it is true because
,
Accept space
,
history is the important subject by which we can teach about
past
Suggestion
the past
 to our youngsters.So
,
Accept space
,
such
Linking Words
 places should be designed
Linking Words
accordingly which
Suggestion
accordingly, which
 provide quite and deep info about their cultural, linguistic and professional backgrounds.
For example
Linking Words
, in
China 70
Accept comma addition
China, 70
% of museums are free of cost
for
Suggestion
to
 everyone and it is prohibited to talk loudly and have entertainment
on
Suggestion
at
such
Linking Words
 places because that will
effect
have an effect upon
affect
 their environment.
Moreover
Linking Words
, many educational centres take students for
museum
Use synonyms
 trips so they can get knowledge about
past
Suggestion
the past
 of their country which generates enthusiasm in our youth. To conclude, historical places are increasingly popular these days because of their beauty and unique items.
This
Linking Words
 essay discussed why it is necessary to keep museums for educational purpose because of their informative use. In my opinion, the governing bodies should take necessary steps to maintain discipline on these places and create awareness about its educational use through the latest use of technologies.
Submitted by mtabish26 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: