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Band 5

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmers (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #school #programmers #charity #neighbourhood #sports #children
Today,
some
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to some
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 extent students are involved in volunteer activity under the authority of high schools. A group of people considers the obligatory can be put into practice relating the social issues for university/ college learners. I would totally agree with
this
 view. Without any doubt, the additional activities help the development of learner’s skills, namely communication, language, computer.
This
 idea would be acceptable that
the
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apply
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participation in the NGOs, the charity, in the
workshops
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workshops,
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 prevents timidness, by which a young person could act with self-reliance.
Following
this
, the unpaid community is a relevant method for implementing our knowledge practically,
provided
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providing
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 learning theories,
reading
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and reading
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 loads of books. Getting these challenges, the students easily get used to employability,
Correct word choice
and hard-working
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hard-working
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hard
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.
Moreover
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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social activity does not just take action
our
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on our
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 current talents, an event we have gained
the
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apply
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half of them through our representation.
For example
,
i
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I
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 participated as a volunteer during my university years. Now I have plenty of aptitudes, which could really help me in my future career.
Second
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The second
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 argument could be accepted as a
further
 significant factor. Social facilities may
be
Verb problem
have
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 a considerable impact
understanding
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on understanding
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 an individual responsibility,
such
 as their role,
awareness
Correct word choice
and awareness
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 of
the
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apply
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environmental issues,
poverty
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and poverty
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. The remedies
of
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for
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 the major problems
are needed
Wrong verb form
need
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the
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apply
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cooperation between the government and
the
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apply
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civil society (including students up to 18
aged
Replace the word
age
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), namely the young generation would conscientiously reflect with activities,
such
 as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
innovative points-of-view. As an example, The pressure of youngsters
had been
Wrong verb form
has
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 changed the anti-democratic regime to a democratic one in Georgia. As an underlying power behind
this
 was the new generation’s initiatives. Admittedly, the mandatory program would have disadvantages,
despite
Correct word choice
but despite
show examples
this
 I am sure that the advantages of
social
Add an article
the social
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facility
Fix the agreement mistake
facilities
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 will outweigh its drawbacks. In
the
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apply
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sum
up
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apply
show examples
, the official initiatives can construct
the
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apply
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new skills,
as well as
 encourage being
social
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socially
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 responsible among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high school learners. The benefits of
this
 approach are more useful and productive than non-activity.
Submitted by gismetaliyeva on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • unpaid community service
  • compulsory part
  • high school programs
  • sense of duty
  • social responsibility
  • essential life skills
  • teamwork
  • communication
  • leadership
  • work experience
  • employable
  • community improvement
  • local community
  • time management
  • empathy
  • compassionate attitude
  • diversion from academics
  • critics argue
  • varying quality
  • inconsistency
  • students’ experiences
What to do next:
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