IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write at least 250 words. Write about the following topic: Fewer students are studying science at school and university, favouring more computer-based subjects instead. Is this a positive or negative development? What are the reasons for this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

#minutes #topic #students #science #school #university #subjects #development
Nowadays, more and more
students
 are choosing
subjects
such
 as IT and other
subjects
 connected with
computers
 and technology rather than pursuing scientific
subjects
 in both secondary school and higher education.
Overall
, I think that
this
 is a pity and that more should be done to encourage
students
 to study science.
However
, it is
also
 understandable why
students
 are attracted to computer-based
subjects
. Most
students
 have a computer at home and most young people enjoy free time activities that make use of computer technology, and
this
 is one reason they are attracted to courses that involve
computers
. Many feel that they can combine their passion for using
computers
 and mobile technology in their studies, and
this
 will
also
 help them in their future careers. There is no doubt that in today’s competitive job market, computer-based jobs are highly valued.
Nevertheless
, we do need
scientists
 in other fields apart from computing. Without a strong generation of
scientists
 coming through, scientific advancement will
also
 stagnate at a time when we are on the cusp of finding cures for several diseases and at a time when only science can help us avoid an environmental catastrophe. We need a balance in educational institutions that ensures
this
 new generation of
scientists
 is being produced. In summary, the increased popularity of computer-based
subjects
 in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of science
subjects
 is not surprising given the importance of
computers
 in daily life.
However
, I
also
 think that it is key that we foster the next wave of
scientists
 to help the world deal with the problems that it is facing.
Submitted by aakbarov2010 on

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Task Achievement
Your essay makes a clear argument with relevant examples. Continue to refine your examples to make them even more impactful.
Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance coherence, consider varying your sentence structures more and using a wider range of linking words.
Task Achievement
Good job on creating a balanced viewpoint on the topic, presenting both sides of the argument effectively.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well crafted, framing your argument and summarizing your points effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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