Some people think that the government should be responsible for crime prevention, while other believe that it is the responsibility of the individual to protect themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #government #crime #prevention #responsibility

One of the most topical issues in modern society is problems associated with

pollution

. People have different views about whether the usage of transports or industrial growth is responsible for

such

issues. While the dramatic increase of cars has

also

some causes for it, I believe that industrial developments are the primary source of

pollution

. On the one hand, the number of cars in

metropolitans

Suggestion

metropolitan

areas

are rising

Suggestion

is rising

significantly, causing more detrimental effects on

environment

Suggestion

the environment

. Because many big cities are witnessing a drastic climb in the consumption of fuels by dint of

this

, emitting poisonous gases to

air

Suggestion

the air

may have negative consequences. Taking China as an example, where the air of the country is deteriorated by the virtue of cars and factories, urging the people to wear protective masks to avoid health problems but it is not a solution. Thanks to

revolutionized

Suggestion

revolutionize

technologies and renewable energies that are being utilized to prevent

pollution

. If all metropolises substitute the cars for solar-powered and eco-friendly cars, it will highly likely be very effective way to discourage

pollution

On the other hand

, much

pollution

, which is produced by transports, is not leading to a huge cause of ecosystem. The culprit may be the discharge of polluting substances into the atmosphere owing to the growing manufacturing industries.

Nowadays more

Accept comma addition

Nowadays, more

and more new factories are being erected in order to provide the population with necessities

such

as food, clothes and so on. If governments adopt new policies and implement them to supervise the industrial waste, it can really limit the

pollution

. In conclusion, I can understand why people might think that

cars

Suggestion

car

usage has effects that are avoidable, but it seems to me that

increasing number

Suggestion

an increasing number

of factories

has

Suggestion

have

a long-term result

Suggestion

ecosystem.

Submitted by gulomovmaruf13 on Fri May 15 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

289 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that the government should be responsible for crime prevention, while other believe that it is the responsibility of the individual to protect themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Should we create more socially mixed residential areas where rich people live next to poor people, instead of in separate communities?

University students are increasingly studying abroad as part of their studies Do the advantages of studying abroad outweigh the disadvantages?

Tourism is an ever growing industry. What benefits do you think tourism brings to individuals and society?

Some people think it is important to keep and maintain old buildings rather than replacing them with modern buildings? To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?