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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is generally agreed that society benefits from the work of its members. Compare the contributions of artists to society with the contributions of scientists to society.

#society #work #members #contributions #artists #scientists
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Many divergent views exist on the relevance of the importance of
society memebers' contribution
Suggestion
the society member's contribution
society member's contribution
society members contribution
society members' contribution
society member contribution
. Some believe that
artists
Suggestion
artists'
 contribution is more valuable whereas a great number of people, including myself are of the opinion that scientists discoveries and efforts
outweights
be heavier than
outweighs
 the
work
Use synonyms
 of any other occupation. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will proffer justification of my own belief on
this
Linking Words
 matter. They who see more importance in
artists
Suggestion
the artists work claim
an artists work claim
work
Use synonyms
 claim that they preserve the values and tradition of
culuture
a particular society at a particular time and place
culture
 for
long period
Suggestion
a long period
long periods
 of time. The proponents of
this
Linking Words
 view maintain that these artists spent their entire
life
Use synonyms
 spreading good messages to the
soceity
an extended social group having a distinctive cultural and economic organization
society
 through their own artwork. Indeed, when people view these art forms from a different approach as
artists
Suggestion
artists'
 views, they become more aware about
value
Suggestion
the value
 of their own
culutre
a particular society at a particular time and place
culture
. Leo
nar
and not; neither
nor
near
 do
da
definite article
the
vinci
Suggestion
Vinci
 is a shining example of
this
Linking Words
. He created many
painting
Suggestion
paintings
 throughout his
life
Use synonyms
 and because of these artworks, many people still aspire him as a great
influencer
a power to affect persons or events especially power based on prestige etc
influence
 for the
british
of or relating to or characteristic of Great Britain or its people or culture
British
 culture.
However
Linking Words
, I firmly believe that scientists
work
Use synonyms
 is more crucial that
Use synonyms
work
Suggestion
the work
 of artists.
This
Linking Words
 is because their inventions have not only saved many people's
Use synonyms
life but
Suggestion
lives, but
lives but
 it
also
Linking Words
 improved lifestyle of people in today's world. Indeed, these scientists have spent their whole
life
Use synonyms
 to discover the cure for
life
Use synonyms
-threatening diseases,
such
Linking Words
 as Cholera, HIV and many more, to improve the
logevity
duration of service
longevity
 ration of humans.
In addition
Linking Words
, the technological improvements have
florished
grow vigorously
flourished
 the lifestyle of everyone
on
Suggestion
in
this
Linking Words
 world.
For instance
Linking Words
, we can talk to our friends and family member with the help the internet and space technology.
Hence
Linking Words
, it is not a far-fetched conclusion to say that
scientist
Suggestion
scientific
work
Use synonyms
 have immensely contributed to our society. To sum up,
althou
Linking Words
gh artists contribut
Suggestion
the artists' contribution
artists' contribution
artists' contributions
ion can conserve the value of their o
wn clut
a particular society at a particular time and place
culture
ure, I still hold to the opinion that scientists
wo
Use synonyms
rk h
Suggestion
has
ave more profound positive benefits th
an any
any person
anyone
one else
Submitted by konolif632 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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