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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.

The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.
#amount #leisure #time #men #women #employment #status
The provided bar chart illustrates both men and women with different kinds of employment
status
Fix the agreement mistake
statuses
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, which had enjoyed their spare
time
 between 1998 to 1999.
Overall
, Unemployed and Retired
people
 of both sexes have the most relished
time
 that they spent.
Despite
Correct pronoun usage
thisDespite
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, the employed female and
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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 have the least rate of enjoyment compared to those who don't work at all. Whether or not,
people
 have different
status
Fix the agreement mistake
statuses
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 of employment, they will enjoy their free
time
 in some circumstances. As we can see
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, the
people
, who don't have jobs or
retired
Add a missing verb
are retired
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, are satisfied in their free
time
 at almost the same percentages, a male has over 80
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, a female has just under 80
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, respectively.
On the other hand
, those who are
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
 employed were at a small level of satisfaction compared to the above percentages. Male was over 40
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and females were under 40
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. If we turn to, housewives and part-
time
 women employees, the percentages of enjoyment were slightly greater than employed
people
. It is rated at 50
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and 40
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, respectively.
Submitted by nominbileg.e on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, people, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
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