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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.

The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.
#amount #leisure #time #men #women #employment #status
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The provided bar chart illustrates both men and women with different kinds of employment
status
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statuses
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, which had enjoyed their spare
time
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 between 1998 to 1999.
Overall
Linking Words
, Unemployed and Retired
people
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 of both sexes have the most relished
time
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 that they spent.
Despite
Correct pronoun usage
thisDespite
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, the employed female and
male
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males
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 have the least rate of enjoyment compared to those who don't work at all. Whether or not,
people
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 have different
status
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statuses
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 of employment, they will enjoy their free
time
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 in some circumstances. As we can see
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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, the
people
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, who don't have jobs or
retired
Add a missing verb
are retired
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, are satisfied in their free
time
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 at almost the same percentages, a male has over 80
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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, a female has just under 80
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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, respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, those who are
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
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time
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 employed were at a small level of satisfaction compared to the above percentages. Male was over 40
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 and females were under 40
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percent
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per cent
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. If we turn to, housewives and part-
time
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 women employees, the percentages of enjoyment were slightly greater than employed
people
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. It is rated at 50
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 and 40
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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, respectively.
Submitted by nominbileg.e on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, people, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
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