Some people think art such as sculpture and music cannot improve the quality of people’s lives so the government should not spend money on them but on health and defence. What is your opinion?

Countries around the globe has been plagued by major issues like poverty and unemployment. These are one fundamental yet intricate
problems
Suggestion
problem
that our world
have
Suggestion
has
to deal with, albeit many policies and solutions have been
putting
Suggestion
put
into effect, the results were not prominent. Arts certainly
can not
can not
cannot
claim to be a key possibility to solve these problems.
Thus
, I agree with the statement that governments should invest
on
Suggestion
in
other
sectors but
Accept comma addition
sectors, but
not arts to improve the living conditions of their citizens
,
Accept space
,
and I will explain the reasons here.
Firstly
, it seems simplistic to say that
arts
Suggestion
the arts
is
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are
paramount
for
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to
the quality of people’s lives. Certainly, when considering how arts can lift one’s mood up and make them feel optimistic about the future through the works of Michelangelo or Leonardo da Vinci, we can see its
influential
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influence
impacts even until now.
However
, not everyone is truly
appreciates
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appreciated
and
enamored
marked by foolish or unreasoning fondness
enamoured
of
arts
Suggestion
the arts
, those who are not will be outrageous, thinking the officials are spending the budgets lavishly on unnecessary things like paintings or sculptures.
Secondly
, arts neither
brings
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bring
financial nor welfare benefits to the people. Unlike sectors like healthcare or housing, arts do not offer these securities.
For example
, it would be unimaginable for the impoverished communities
to have
Suggestion
have
access to universal
healthcare
Suggestion
health care
or affordable housing via the spiritual values that arts provide.
Finally
, it is surely wiser to regard
arts
Suggestion
art
as something governments should spend on after using the resources for pivotal issues like inflation, illiteracy or housing to improve the quality of life for the less fortunate ones than prioritizing it. To conclude, art
does ensures
Suggestion
does ensure
the psychological wellbeing of citizens and makes our society more vibrant but it does not bring any significant economic benefits to our lives.
Submitted by harunosakura2002 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural capital
  • therapeutic
  • well-being
  • creativity
  • critical thinking
  • stimulate local economies
  • national pride
  • heritage
  • symbolic
  • freedom of expression
  • cultural diversity
  • tangible benefits
  • beacon of resilience
  • diplomatic tools
  • promoting peace
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