IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Studies suggest that the rise in the consumption of junk foods is the major cause of obesity. Some people argue that this problem can be tackled to a great extent by increasing the price of these food items. Do you agree or disagree?

#studies #rise #consumption #junk #foods #obesity #people #price #food #items
In
this
 Contemporary era, Fast
food
 is much in demands by the adolescent, teenager, and Adults. According to recent studies on Junk
food
, It suggests that Adiposity is a result of the huge consumption of canned
food
. On the other side, many people believe that Portliness would have been controlled by inflation in the
cost
 of
such
food
 products. I agree with
this
 perspective as the increased price leads to less consumption of these
products especially
Accept comma addition
products, especially
 for those people who have budget constraints. People are aware of the detrimental effects of junk
food
. Fast
food
 contains many deleterious ingredients which signify for excess weight. One of the reasons for obesity is the low
cost
 of fast
food
. Due to fewer prices, It is easily purchased by all kinds of people. Many kinds of research have shown that, If the product
cost
 is high
then
 there will be low demand for the commodity.
Therefore
, People would find it less attractive to buy dehydrated
food
 items at
inflation
Suggestion
inflated
 prices.
Moreover
, there is another part of society that can still promptly acquire junk
food
 even in the price escalation. An alternative method can be used to reduce the intake of
such
 items among wealthy individuals. Diverse programs should initiate which makes aware of the destructive impacts on healths through various
mode
Suggestion
modes, for
modes for
for example
- posters, videos on social media platforms, blogs, and articles, etc. In My opinion, These kinds of programs will support to reduce the utilization of unhealthy
food
. To sum up, I strongly believe that,
Inflation
Accept comma addition
Inflation, cost
cost
 of junk
food
 will be beneficial to lessen the usage of it.
Furthermore
, Informational events should be started to aware of the side-effect of healthy
food
.
Submitted by hkrubysingh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: