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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table shows the proportion of puplis attending four secondary school types between 2000 and 2009 Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The table shows the proportion of puplis attending four secondary school types between 2000 and 2009 Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
#proportion #puplis #four #school #information #features #comparisons
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The table
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 information about the proportion of students
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
visiting
Wrong verb form
visited
show examples
 four different types
high
Change preposition
of high
show examples
school
 from 2008 to 2009. In general, the highest rate of
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 visiting Voluntary-controlled
Schools
,
when
Correct word choice
while
show examples
 the lowest percentage of
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 in Specialist
School
Fix the agreement mistake
Schools
show examples
. The table data clearly shows that in 2000 Voluntary-controlled
Schools
 one and a fifth of students attended,
while
 only 12
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of 100 students attended community
schools
, after 5 years attendance in the two
schools
 is the same, but in 2009 in Community
school
 percentage of
student
 attended increase until 58, when Voluntary-controlled
Schools
 the percentage of pupils enrolled fell backwards to 20
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. As can be seen in the Specialist
School
 at the beginning rate of
student
 visiting was less
on
Change preposition
than
show examples
 12
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 than in Grammar
School
, but
at the end
 of the period in
Grammar
Correct article usage
the Grammar
show examples
School
 and Specialist
School
 rate of
student
 visiting dropped
approximately
Change preposition
by approximately
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
12
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Submitted by sam.kozha on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words school, student, schools, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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