Do you agree or disagree that celebrities are paid far too much money

#celebrities #money

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The rapid expansion of the entertainment industry has completely switched the economies of some countries

such

Linking Words

as the

united kingdom

Correct your spelling

United Kingdom

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, Korea,

the

Correct word choice

and the

show examples

united states

Correct your spelling

United States

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While

Linking Words

people vehemently

outcry

Verb problem

argue

show examples

that these entertainers are

just

Rephrase

apply

show examples

simply overpaid, what they receive is not commensurate with their talents. I strongly disagree with that statement. In my view,

celebrities

Use synonyms

deserve a high income. First of all, it is clear to see that" fame has a price" means that they have to give a lot of time and relentless training effort in the hope of shining moments in the limelight.

for instance

Linking Words

, a Korean pop star named Lalisa Manoban is an obvious example. she is the one who spent at least 13 hours to practise to prove that she deserved to debut among 1000 trainees.

Besides

Linking Words

, their money earned is not wholly theirs. They have to pay for advertising, stage expenses, and profit-sharing for their company. Another good point is that

celebrities

Use synonyms

have strong determination and hard work to obtain immense success, especially when they are recognized by the public and obtain great achievements

On the other hand

Linking Words

, they have to pay a lot of money for security

matter

Fix the agreement mistake

matters

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. Even if they are rich, they can be threatened by thieves

disturb

Correct pronoun usage

who disturb

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or even destroy their lives.

Furthermore

Linking Words

celebrities

Use synonyms

additionally

Linking Words

have to pay

pretty

Rephrase

much

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higher taxes than other jobs. In the United States, famous stars have to pay 40% tax

from

Change preposition

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their income,

that is

Linking Words

such

Linking Words

a big number.

To sum up

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, I believe that

celebrities

Use synonyms

are appropriately

Wrong verb form

should

show examples

be paid far more money for their dedication and effort, every occupation is equal, so their diligence should be respected

Submitted by dgiang930 on Mon May 18 2020

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task response

Address the prompt more directly and provide a balanced argument with supporting evidence for both sides of the issue.

coherence cohesion

Ensure a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. Use linking words and cohesive devices to improve coherence and cohesion.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

271 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

lucrative
revenue
sponsorships
merchandise
career longevity
market demand
economic contribution
role models
influence
entertainment industry

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Do you agree or disagree that celebrities are paid far too much money

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Some scientist thinks that there are intelligent life forms on other planets and messages should be sent to contact them. Other scientists think it is a bad idea and would be dangerous, Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many offenders commit more crime after serving their first punishment. Why are this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

In many countries, plastic shopping bags are the main source of rubbish. They cause water and land pollution, and so they should be banned. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Human activities have negative effects on the environment. Some people believe it is too late to take measures to prevent animals and plants from dying out. Others think actions should be taken to improve the situation. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.