Do you agree or disagree that celebrities are paid far too much money

#celebrities #money

The rapid expansion of the entertainment industry has completely switched the economies of some countries

such

as the

united kingdom

Correct your spelling

United Kingdom

show examples

, Korea,

the

Correct word choice

and the

show examples

united states

Correct your spelling

United States

show examples

While

people vehemently

outcry

Verb problem

argue

show examples

that these entertainers are

just

Rephrase

apply

show examples

simply overpaid, what they receive is not commensurate with their talents. I strongly disagree with that statement. In my view,

celebrities

deserve a high income. First of all, it is clear to see that" fame has a price" means that they have to give a lot of time and relentless training effort in the hope of shining moments in the limelight.

for instance

, a Korean pop star named Lalisa Manoban is an obvious example. she is the one who spent at least 13 hours to practise to prove that she deserved to debut among 1000 trainees.

Besides

, their money earned is not wholly theirs. They have to pay for advertising, stage expenses, and profit-sharing for their company. Another good point is that

celebrities

have strong determination and hard work to obtain immense success, especially when they are recognized by the public and obtain great achievements

On the other hand

, they have to pay a lot of money for security

matter

Fix the agreement mistake

matters

show examples

. Even if they are rich, they can be threatened by thieves

disturb

Correct pronoun usage

who disturb

show examples

or even destroy their lives.

Furthermore

celebrities

additionally

have to pay

pretty

Rephrase

much

show examples

higher taxes than other jobs. In the United States, famous stars have to pay 40% tax

from

Change preposition

show examples

their income,

that is

such

a big number.

To sum up

, I believe that

celebrities

are appropriately

Wrong verb form

should

show examples

be paid far more money for their dedication and effort, every occupation is equal, so their diligence should be respected

Submitted by dgiang930 on Mon May 18 2020

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coherence cohesion

Ensure a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. Use linking words and cohesive devices to improve coherence and cohesion.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

271 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

lucrative
revenue
sponsorships
merchandise
career longevity
market demand
economic contribution
role models
influence
entertainment industry

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Do you agree or disagree that celebrities are paid far too much money

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

People have different job expectations for jobs. Some people prefer to do the same job for the same company, whereas others prefer to change jobs frequently. Write about advantages and disadvantages of each view point?

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer. IELTS Essay Sample Answer (1)

Many people today buy ready-made food rather than spending time cooking. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Part 2 In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by fast food. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main sbjects. other believe it is more important to give all their time and attendtion to studying for qualifications. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.