IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that history has nothing or little to tell us, but others think that studying the past history can help us better understanding the present.discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #history
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some argue that studying
regarding
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
history
Use synonyms
 is purposeless,
while
Linking Words
 others object
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
to this
show examples
 notion, saying that the past aids people
to acquire
Change preposition
in acquiring
show examples
 a proper vision
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the present. My personal perspective is
although
Linking Words
 most of the factual theory which is related to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
history
Use synonyms
 is fabricated,
overall
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
learning
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it provides
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
correct guidance and a strong foundation
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the prevailing period.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, some people do not prefer to rely on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
history
Use synonyms
 because they think those stories are
truth less
Correct your spelling
truthless
show examples
. In fact, most of the time, the domain of
this
Linking Words
 knowledge cannot be proved by adequate physical and scientific
evidences
Change the wording
evidence
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
show examples
 and
therefore
Linking Words
, people think the junk of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
history
Use synonyms
 is either myths or fabrications which do not grant anything productive to the society. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
example in Sri Lanka, some of the factual knowledge in
history
Use synonyms
 books about the
Anuradhapure
Correct your spelling
Anuradhapura
 kingdom is still impossible to correlate with ancient ruins which were found
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the respective premises by archaeologists.
However
Linking Words
, I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 notion because lacking
evidences
Change the wording
evidence
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
show examples
does not
intend
Verb problem
mean
show examples
 that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
history
Use synonyms
id
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 unreal and not useful.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education about the past is highly imperative to
owe
Verb problem
have
show examples
 a proper understanding of the present and the future. In fact,
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
 following
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
history
Use synonyms
, one can not only take many lessons to their lives, by knowing how and where things went wrong, but
also
Linking Words
 can flourish the dedication in work by learning about devotions,
sacrifices
Correct word choice
and sacrifices
show examples
 which were done by heroes of the nation to build up the present. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
instance, in the UK,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
history
Use synonyms
 is a compulsory element in the school curriculum because it gives colossal benefits and lessons to students to formulate their lives. In conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education regarding the past is crucial to the present because it gives many lessons and guidance, despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the fact that certain domains of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
history
Use synonyms
do
Verb problem
are
show examples
 not
back
Wrong verb form
backed
show examples
 up by proper
evidences
Change the wording
evidence
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
show examples
 and may be myths.
Submitted by anushkinim on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

content
Develop your main points in more detail to enhance the depth of your argumentation. Ensure that your examples are directly relevant to the discussion and support your points effectively.
cohesion
Your use of cohesive devices is generally effective, but your essay could benefit from more varied and sophisticated linking words and phrases. Consider the use of pronouns and conjunctions to create a more cohesive and coherent structure.
vocabulary
Utilize a broader range of vocabulary to convey your ideas more precisely and eloquently. Consider using more formal and academic language to elevate the lexical quality of your essay.
grammar
Your use of varied sentence structures demonstrates a good command of grammar. However, be mindful of subject-verb agreement and word choice to ensure clarity and precision in your expression.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • insights
  • progression
  • values
  • beliefs
  • heritage
  • identity
  • applicable
  • biased
  • subjective
  • practical
What to do next:
Look at other essays: