IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people say that children should stay in school until the age of 18. Others suggest that educating children until the age of 14 is enough. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #school #age
The appropriate
age
 to leave school
life
 has been a great matter of debate for
sometime
Suggestion
some time
 now. Parents are in dilemma as to when
,
Accept space
,
 should they take their children out of school- at 18 or 14.In
this
 essay we will discuss both the views of debate and I will tell why I think the
first
 one is a better option. Almost every year after high school (
that is
age
 14)
parents
Suggestion
Parents
 start to think whether they should continue their
child
's studies or should they drop them.Indeed,
this
may
the month following April and preceding June
May
 be a good idea as the
child
 has learnt the basic knowledge to survive.He or she can bow take any standard job and earn a simple living.People who prefer basic
life
 tend to spend less on their
child
's
education
 as they think earning a livelihood early in
life
 will make them independent and
also
 they will be a help for the betterment of the family.
This
 is mostly the case with the middle class and joint families who have less earning and more mouths to feed.For them backing out from school at the
age
 of 14 is a good
idea but
Accept comma addition
idea, but
 they can lose out on some big opportunities in
life
 due to lack of proper
education
.
On the other hand
well
(often used as a combining form) in a good or proper or satisfactory manner or to a high standard ('good' is a nonstandard dialectal variant for 'well')
Well
 to do families or people who want to achieve greater heights in
life
 tend to opt for higher
education
 and degrees. These students and their guardians have a higher aim in their do to list. As it's a well known fact that degrees are essential to take up reputed and high level jobs in
this
 world
,
Accept space
,
children happily accept the offer of higher
education
 and colleges. In my opinion
,
Accept space
,
the debate is clearly won by people who think children should study up to the
age
 of 18 and above. Higher
education
 not only benefits the
child
 and family, but
also
 plays a vital role in the progress of society and in turn contributes to the economy of the country.
Submitted by anjumatiqschool on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: