IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Home schooling is getting a lot importance over traditional learning environment provided by schools. What is your opinion on the subject?

It is considered that studying from
home
Use synonyms
 is more effective than the traditional method of
course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
show examples
 launched by the institute.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
both
view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
show examples
 and give a verdict
why
Change preposition
on why
show examples
 learning at school with a tutor and a peer is more imperative than
home
Use synonyms
 learning. On one hand,
house
Check wording
home
show examples
 study has always become easy for the pupil because of its flexibility
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 time and economic point of view. Even though parents have a hectic life
if
Punctuation problem
, if
show examples
 the
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 are learning from
flat
Punctuation problem
flat,
show examples
 their parents can confer
them
Change preposition
on them
show examples
 time for research.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is cheaper than a peer or instructor on
faculty
Correct article usage
the faculty
show examples
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 anyone can join and enhance their subject level.
For instance
Linking Words
, a recent research had concluded that 90% parents prefer their children to study from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
home
Use synonyms
 as they are busy in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 and it's
budget friendly
Use the right word
budget-friendly
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, most of the people prefer their children to
subject
Verb problem
be subject
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 an institute with a schoolteacher and a group of
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
. Even though it is more expensive than
residence
Replace the word
residential
show examples
exercise,
it's
Verb problem
it
show examples
 has
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 positive effect on the
pupil
Check wording
pupil's
show examples
 life.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 type of learning assists the children to be more
socialise
Wrong verb form
socialised
show examples
 and build up their confidence and
self esteem
Use the right word
self-esteem
show examples
, which are obligatory to
get
Verb problem
achieve
show examples
 success in their career.
For example
Linking Words
, a recent course proved that most of the students learn about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
socialise
Replace the word
socialising
show examples
 and
motivated
Verb problem
are motivated
show examples
 to self
reliant
Correct word choice
self-reliant
show examples
 and
esteem
Verb problem
have esteem
show examples
 when they are in
institute
Correct article usage
an institute
show examples
soul
Check wording
setting
show examples
 and learning with their friends.
In addition
Linking Words
, they
also
Linking Words
 learn about the patience and cooperation
importance
Check wording
apply
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
a lecturer
show examples
lecturer
Check wording
lecturer's
show examples
 direct involvement in their subject always
flourishes
Verb problem
helps
show examples
 them to get better performance as they assist them to recognise their weakness and
Propel
Fix capitalization
propel
show examples
 them to study hard to give success in their goal. To exemplify, paper
based
Use the right word
paper-based
show examples
 exam held by
supervisor
Correct article usage
a supervisor
show examples
assist
Verb problem
helps
show examples
 them to know how much
Correct article usage
the pupil
show examples
pupil
Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 doing
better
Rephrase
apply
show examples
in their class
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
and they can aid them to do better.
Hence
Linking Words
, there is no doubt that
Correct article usage
the academy
show examples
academy
Check wording
academy's
show examples
 traditional exercise
more
Verb problem
is more
show examples
 effective than
home
Use synonyms
 learning
To sum up
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 learning at the apartment is crucial
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 some extent
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
 cheaper and flexible time to
flat
Correct word choice
a certain extent
show examples
, in my opinion, traditional school learning is more
advantages
Replace the word
advantageous
show examples
 because
it's
Verb problem
it
show examples
 assists in
Linking Words
overall
Correct article usage
the overall
show examples
 development of
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is more important than any other
things
Check wording
apply
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

planning
Make a clear plan before you write. Have one main idea in each paragraph and a clear view in the first line.
grammar
Use simple and correct grammar. Use short sentences. Fix errors like wrong verb and form.
development
Give real and easy examples that match your point. Keep links from idea to idea in the same paragraph.
content
The writer tries to cover both sides of the topic.
structure
A conclusion that states a view is present.
content
Some ideas are easy to read and follow.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: