Some people believe that elderly parents ought to live at senior homes. Others believe that they should live with family members(blood relatives). Do you agree or disagree?
Few
peoples
Change the noun form
people
things
that their Correct your spelling
think
elder
should move out and stay in senior homes where they take Fix the agreement mistake
elders
care
of all the elders, but others think that they should stay with their family so they can spend more time with them. In this
essay
I would like to express my point of view and I would like to talk about if I agree or Add a comma
essay,
DIsagree
with it with relevant examples.
Correct your spelling
disagree
Firstly
, I Strongly agree with the statement " That elders should stay with their family or blood relatives". They are part of our life, they taught us so many things and took care
of us when we are
young, so why we should send them to senior Wrong verb form
were
home
? It is our responsibility Fix the agreement mistake
homes
that
Change preposition
to
we
take Correct pronoun usage
apply
care
of them when they are older and look after them. For instance
, In the study
it was calculated that in modern days, Add a comma
study,
number
of Correct article usage
a number
parents
are admitted in
the Change preposition
to
elder's
home, Replace the word
elderly's
whereas
in old
days very few people and mostly was who didn'Correct article usage
the old
t
have any child
. But, Fix the agreement mistake
children
that is
not the case now, how can we forget, that's how much pain they suffer
to raise usWrong verb form
suffered
Change the punctuation
?
.
When they are old, it is our turn now to love them more Change the punctuation
?
then
anything and spend as much Replace the word
than
as
time with them because we won'Change preposition
apply
t
know how long they will stay alive.
Secondly
, now the number of parents
admitted in
Change preposition
to
elder
Add an article
the elder
an elder
house
is rising, which is not a good thing. We all are forgetting our culture and sending our Fix the agreement mistake
houses
parents
away like tossing them apart. For example
, in a study
there was one of the Add a comma
study,
case
in India, where one parent takes Change to a plural noun
cases
care
of their child
a lot, but they were not rich family
they are Fix the agreement mistake
families
mid range
Add a hyphen
mid-range
peoples
. But, they provide their Fix the agreement mistake
people
child
with a good education and the ones he
started earning a lot of money Correct pronoun usage
who
got
married, and Wrong verb form
get
he has
a big Wrong verb form
have
house
, car and everything which one can dream off
, Change preposition
of
then
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
sends
his Correct subject-verb agreement
send
parents
to the elder's house
, saying it will be better for them to stay there so they can take care
of them nicely as he is all ways busy with work.
To summarize, when we are child
, our Fix the agreement mistake
children
parents
give us more importance then
any other work, and they provide us with everything Replace the word
than
what
we ask them. Change the word
that
Then
why can't
we just be with them when they most need us.
When they are old it is Change the punctuation
?
critical
stage, because old Add an article
a critical
person's
behaviour Fix the agreement mistake
people's
also
changes due to
which I believe they send them to Correct article usage
an elder
elder
Replace the word
elderly
house
, but I don't
think we need to send them there and we should take care
of them ourself
, so we can have quality and most memorable time with them.Correct pronoun usage
ourselves
Submitted by dedodi1119 on
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overall
Improve the logical structure of your essay by organizing your arguments and examples more coherently. Ensure your introduction and conclusion fully address the topic and express your own viewpoint clearly. Include more complete and comprehensive ideas, and provide specific examples that directly support your arguments.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.