Many people think that more money will make them happier. How important is money for happiness?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some think that more
money
Use synonyms
will bring us all sorts of happiness, where they think that in order to achieve
such
Linking Words
exuberant lifestyle
money
Use synonyms
is vital. Whilst many people believe wealth is
omnipotent which
Accept comma addition
omnipotent, which
will
fulfill
put in effect
fulfil
your every desire. Having exponential amount of funds does make you feel important, powerful, helps feed your
vanity but
Accept comma addition
vanity, but
there lies some limitations of the riches as well. Placing my opinion on
this
Linking Words
matter, people
nowadays seems
Suggestion
nowadays seem
to be more obsessed with the monetary goals rather than having a healthy and balanced lifestyle. People who have acquired
substantial amount
Suggestion
a substantial amount
of
money
Use synonyms
, they aren’t happy and some who are living in a hut amidst the forest are having the time of their lives. There are some key factors resulting people in giving too much importance to wealth over other aspects of lives. Needless to say, the more cash they have, the more achievable their goals will be. If they had so many funds to have a lavish lifestyle, they could buy everything they would like to, from big houses to luxury cars. Seeing
this
Linking Words
they cannot buy loves of your family members, care of a mother, cure themselves of old age.
Linking Words
Lastly they
Accept comma addition
Lastly, they
think that they can host parties encompassing with lots of substantial and influential
friends which
Accept comma addition
friends, which
in-turns
makes
Suggestion
make
their emotional demands fulfilled. Despite the fact that bill is the key to afford living expenses, hardly could it be the only way to feel happy.
Linking Words
Firstly having
Accept comma addition
Firstly, having
big house
Suggestion
a big house
seemingly having expensive branded clothes, jumping on any new
trends purchasing
Accept comma addition
trends, purchasing
any new cars will only bring momentary relief rather than feeling happy. Having big houses does not guarantee the happiness
for
Linking Words
instance celebrities
Accept comma addition
instance, celebrities
told the interviews that they were afraid of betrayal and mistrust from the close ones.
Secondly
Linking Words
blissfulness comes from within not
form
a giver or sender
from
amassing the materialistic things,
for example
Linking Words
a man is happy with buying his
first
Linking Words
small car whilst some teenager halfway around the world pushed a luxury car into the river. Many of them have
wrong idea
Suggestion
the wrong idea
wrong ideas
about achieving joyfulness.
Finally
Linking Words
and more importantly, though, it is the quality of relationships built amongst family members that would create a happy and convivial atmosphere in which they live. Many of less affluent families have been seen to live with lower stress levels in their close relationships with each other. So concluding with the fact that happiness is a state of mind rather than placing
money
Use synonyms
as omnipotent.
Submitted by sailencrestha on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • subjective
  • universally
  • cultural differences
  • psychological factors
  • satisfaction with life
  • emotional balance
  • personal achievements
  • social connections
  • fulfilling relationships
  • sense of belonging
  • sense of purpose
  • physical health
  • well-being
  • financial stability
  • mindfulness
  • gratitude
  • positive thinking
What to do next:
Look at other essays: