IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people say that children should stay at school until the age 18.others suggest the age of 14 is enough .discuss both the views and give your opinion.

#people #children #school #age
People are often confused about up to what
age
 children should attend
school
? Some prefer that children should study in
school
 until 18 years of
age while
Accept comma addition
age, while
 others think 14 years is more than appropriate. I am in favour of the latter view.
Regular
Suggestion
The regular school curriculum
school
 curriculum
is in favour of students studying up to
Suggestion
is in favour of students studying up to the age of 18 and most of the parents agreed
is in favour of students studying up to age of 18 and most of the parents agreed
age
 of 18 and most of the parents agree upon.
This
 is because most of the people are in consensus that a child will be mature enough at
this
age
 to take independent decisions about their future life.
Also
, studying academic subjects lays a strong foundation for going into the college or university.
Lastly
,
Accept space
,
at
this
age
 students
also
 had proper training and experience about the future job prospective which is not possible in tender
age
 of 14
On the contrary
, in today’s era thinking of the parent is swiftly changing. They probably think that it is merely a waste of time reading subjects which are not required in future.
For example
, professionals like plumber or electrician are not required to know about biology so
instead
 of studying those subject, one can focus more on professional subjects.
Moreover
,
present generation
Suggestion
the present generation
 has become smart enough to understand what is
write
Suggestion
written
 and what is wrong. Getting into the profession at an early
age
 has many advantages like attaining top posts at quite a young
age
 and
this
 can improve their financial status and boost confidence. In my view, students should study up to 14 in
school
 and
then
 they can choose their profession and move forward in that particular direction. To conclude, students should not spend unnecessary time in the
school
 and take a wise decision about choosing their career at the early
age
 of 14.
Submitted by harittalwar.88 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • social skills
  • learning disabilities
  • natural development
  • family bonding
  • competitive edge
  • formal education
  • Scandinavian countries
  • academic performance
  • balanced approach
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!