IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some areas of the US, a “curfew is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

#areas #“curfew #teenagers #doors #time #night #adult
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In certain areas of
United States
Suggestion
the United States
, children are not allowed to step outside
to
Suggestion
of
 their homes after a particular time
at
Suggestion
of
 the night unless they are with their parents or guardian. As per my view,
this
Linking Words
 is essential because
teenager
Suggestion
the teenager
a teenager
are
Suggestion
is
 too young to protect themselves from harmful activities. On the one hand, keeping teenagers restricted to their homes in the late hours of
night
Suggestion
the night
 is beneficial to them. If they go out without under supervision of an adult during the lockdown there are chances that they may come in contact with criminals. For, instance the drug mafia target new customers under the darkness. If the youngster
are
Suggestion
is
 out alone, they are more likely to fall into
trap
Suggestion
the trap
a trap
 without knowing the problems
of
Suggestion
with
 it. They may start using drugs out of curiosity and can be addicted to it. Young people are too small to understand the difference between what if good for them and what is bad and
thus
Linking Words
, they may end up being in bad company.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, if the children are accompanied by an adult they are less likely to be approached by criminals. Those who are under the protection of their parents or guardian they are safe from many
devils and
Accept comma addition
devils, and
 the parents
also
Linking Words
 can keep a watch on their
children
Suggestion
children's
 activities, guide them towards the good path and warn them if they cross their limit. In conclusion, the curfew that prevents teens
of
Suggestion
from
 going out of their house during late hours protects them from criminals and bad company.
Thus
Linking Words
, they need the help and shelter of an adult when they are in difficult times.
Submitted by komalrohra1990 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: