It is believed that the education system is the most critical factor to the development of a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this belief?

In
this
time and age, there has been a dramatic change in the
education
system
across the world. Many consider that a stronger teaching
system
remains a vital parameter for a nation’s growth. I concur with
this
notion and believe that up-grading
this
field will not only increase the literacy
level but
Accept comma addition
level, but
will
also
uplift the poverty and control crime rates.
This
essay will provide justifications and evidence to support my views. It is irrefutable that (a) robust schooling can bring in several remarkable changes and can be one of the contributors to strengthen a country’s economy.
Firstly
, it will help in
upsurging
the literacy rates. The more the educated
population the better
Suggestion
population, the better
will be the talent pool. These talents can
thus
build a stronger future. For a case in point, within 5 years of Finland’s decision to revamp its
education
structure, an exemplary improvement in Finland’s economy was recorded. Till today, the students of Finland are considered as one of the best talent pools across the world and
hence
are attracted by many Multinational organisations.
Secondly
, it is said that the literacy of a place is directly proportional to the employment level. Companies tend to establish their base in those countries where the majority of the population is intellectual and can bring innovation. Incorporation of new companies will increase the job prospects and decrease poverty.
This
will in turn control the crime rates.
Finally
, quality and advanced study curriculum will
also
attract overseas students and support retention of the talents who tend to leave their homeland to seek
worldclass
Suggestion
world class
education
. Jack Ma, owner of Alibaba, in his recent interview confirmed that the
education
system
, today, should improve their course structure by main streaming the extra-
curriular
of or relating to an academic course of study
curricular
subjects to tackle the job redundancy happening due to technological advancement. These examples speak volumes about the significance of
best
Suggestion
the best education structure
education
structure. To conclude, I assertively believe that
education
should remain a main focus of the government to develop
it’s
of a thing, of it; possessive form of "it"
its
country. A right and effective teaching
system
can decrease
illetracy
ignorance resulting from not reading
illiteracy
, increase employment and attract not only the international students but
also
the international organisations.
Submitted by sportardent89 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: