IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The internet has transformed lives and economies but it is turning the world into a global village. Soon everybody will think and behave in the same way. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words

#internet #lives #economies #world #village #everybody
There is no doubt that the Internet
bring
Suggestion
brings
 huge innovation for
whole globe
Suggestion
the whole globe
, especially for lives and economies.
However
, some people look on the opposite site, in which they see that it is turning the world into a global village and soon everybody will think and behave in the same way. Thanks to the invention of
Internet
Suggestion
the Internet
, people all over the world are brought to be much closer than the past. Nowadays, the geographical distance is not a problem in human life with the help of the Internet and many communication applications,
such
 as yahoo, Facebook,
twitter
a series of chirps
Twitter
. People are allowed to make friends everywhere,
therefore
, human life becomes more comfortable after high- pressure work or studies. It is obvious that the Internet plays a vital role in economies. In modern society, all of economic information is transferred by Internet with a fast rate which never had in the past, it helps
businessman
Suggestion
the businessman
 to make
reasonable decision
Suggestion
a reasonable decision
reasonable decisions
 in
right time
Suggestion
the right time
.
However
, there is a question raised by some people, whether everybody will think and behave in the same way. There is a fact that, accompanying with the decrease of geographical distance and globalization
megatrend
Suggestion
Megatrend
, the traditional barriers are gradually erased. Some weak nations may be affected by some strong nations' tradition. People from these countries, especially the young tend to follow trends, most of which comes from strong- economy nations.
This
trends
Suggestion
trend
 may be the way of thinking, the
life style
a manner of living that reflects the person's values and attitudes
lifestyle
, the fashion or the entertainment.
As a result
, the national identity is being threatened to be
delete
Suggestion
deleted
.
To
Suggestion
In
 conclusion, the Internet streamed our lives and economies evidently, but
government
Suggestion
the government
 should have solutions to protect national
idenity
the distinct personality of an individual regarded as a persisting entity
identity
 while the globalization is happening rapidly now.
Submitted by gvaisova on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: