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Band 6.5

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extend do you agree with this statement?

#government #investment #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #governments #services
In recent decades, many governments have spent
money
 on
art
preservation
,
such
 as wall arts and music, while some people say governments should spend
money
 on improving public services
instead
.
Hence
,
this
 essay will discuss why
this
 essay strongly agrees with
this
 statement. On the one hand, the governments can manage some amount of funds for
art
preservation but
Accept comma addition
preservation, but
 they provide a lot of
money
 for
this
.
Although
art
preservation
 is necessary, there are many things that are more important than investment in the arts in many developing countries,
such
 as public transportation and education.
For example
, in Bangkok city which is one of the worst traffic in the world, the government invests big
money
 on
art
 wall
preservation
 in many temples while Thai people are suffering from stuck on the roads.
Moreover
, many underprivileged children in Thailand still need education. It would be better, if the government spent
money
 on improving the education system. On top of that, investment in public services in developing countries affects the economy in countries greatly.
On the other hand
, many artworks are disappearing,
such
 as the arts on clothes.
For instance
, some villages in Thailand have a unique clothe style, people in villages transfer knowledge about how to make clothes to the
next
 generation. Unfortunately, there are fewer clothing makers because they can not make much
money
 from those clothes.
Therefore
, the government has established a department about
art
preservation
.
This
 department is responsible for promoting artwork products and funding. In conclusion,
This
 essay totally agrees that governments should invest in public services,
such
 as public transportation, because many developing countries need citizens to be well-being for economic development.
Submitted by palmdotax on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural enrichment
  • expression of creativity
  • promote diversity
  • enhance social cohesion
  • boost tourism
  • job creation
  • stimulate economic growth
  • improve quality of life
  • essential services
  • maintenance and development
What to do next:
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