Some people think paying taxes is a big enough contribution to their society, while others think people have more responsibilities as members of society than only paying taxes. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many
people
believe that paying
taxes
is a major contribution to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
or nation.
However
, it is sometimes argued that there are more responsibilities for the
society
rather than paying
taxes
.
This
essay will discuss both aspects and draw my personal opinion. On one hand, there are a variety of reasons why
people
should pay
taxes
to contribute to their
society
. First of all, paying
taxes
can contribute
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
development of
country
Correct article usage
a country
show examples
and
society
.
Since the
Correct word choice
The
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public budget from the
taxes
is used to develop infrastructures
such
as constructing streets, hospitals, schools and other similar things.
Therefore
, the tax payment is not only helping crucial aspects of a nation
,
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apply
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but
also
it is a great improvement for citizen life.
Secondly
, paying
taxes
brings
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
as
people
get older. If being an employee working for companies or an employee of a government agency, they are entitled to social insurance from their salary.
As a result
, when they retire, they will get a monthly pension from that social insurance premium.
On the other hand
, in order to create a certain
contribute
Replace the word
contribution
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
a
society
,
people
need to have more other responsibilities
such
as compliance with the rules and laws in their country.
For example
, in Vietnam, there are hundreds of
millions
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millions of
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citizens, so the involvement of citizens in supporting
government initiated
Add a hyphen
government-initiated
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programs is essential. Protecting
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
is being considered as a primary concern of
this
country. By doing
this
,
people
can directly and immediately work together to protect their environment like planting trees and cleaning up their surroundings,
as well as
protecting the public facilities which are already available. In conclusion, I believe both arguments have their merits.
However
, I feel that being a good and responsible citizen will bring many benefits to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
.
Submitted by vuvietha2607 on

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task achievement
While the essay is well-structured, it can benefit from more detailed examples to support the points discussed. Try to provide more specific and varied examples to further illustrate your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that you maintain a consistent tone throughout the essay. A few sentences could be more formally phrased to align with the rest of the essay's tone.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are a bit lengthy. Breaking them into shorter, more concise sentences would enhance readability and clarity.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction that sets the stage for the discussion, and a conclusion that effectively summarizes the writer's opinion.
coherence cohesion
The main points are well-supported and logically structured, contributing to a well-rounded argument.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views of the topic thoroughly, displaying a comprehensive understanding of the prompt.

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