IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while some people think that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #job #satisfaction #security
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It can be observed that the issue of
Use synonyms
job expectation
Suggestion
the job expectation
 has grown in importance over the
last
Linking Words
 decades.
This
Linking Words
 fact has brought to our lives the debatable aspect whether the importance of
job
Use synonyms
 satisfaction is more relevant than
job
Use synonyms
 security. I will expose my opinion in the following essay with examples to support my ideas. As far as positions are concerned, it goes without saying that
job
Use synonyms
 satisfaction can spark our creativity and foster a good mood in a very successful way.
Additionally
Linking Words
, many people do believe that in
this
Linking Words
 day and age, the well-known emotional salary could be indispensable in our work atmosphere. Since, in terms of stress prevention, it might play an extremely important role.
Therefore
Linking Words
, not only is it crucial to gather momentum in hard work days, but
also
Linking Words
 it could be paramount to motivate yourself without jeopardizing your productivity. As a case in point, a company which promotes a friendly environment with a game room, will have way fewer problems as burnout syndrome and anxiety issues among its employees.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it seems to be clear that had it not been for
job
Use synonyms
 security, many people would not have achieved the necessary stability to develop their private lives.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is remarkable that an insured activity could be a milestone when it comes to create a new family or raising children.
For instance
Linking Words
, by having a permanent work, or even a long term position we are quite likely to be excellent breadwinners and covering our
kids
Suggestion
kids'
 demands. In the light of the above exposed, I am inclined to believe that, albeit
job
Use synonyms
 satisfaction is vital in our society, we should strike a balance. We have to take into account our mental health and our future projects.
Submitted by logoma512 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: