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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some parents send their children to preschool when they are three or four years old. Other parents wait until their children are old enough for primary school before they send them to school. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of sending children to preschool at a young age.

#parents #children #three #four #years #school #age
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There are
children
Use synonyms
 who attend preschool by their parent’s decision when they are three or four years old .
This
Linking Words
 matter
withstand
Change the verb form
withstands
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 advantage and disadvantage criteria. In my opinion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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most
of
Change preposition
apply
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child
Use synonyms
 development
take
Change the verb form
takes
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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place in preschool.
as well as
Linking Words
 ,
the
Correct article usage
a
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 safe environment .
Linking Words
on
Capitalize word
On
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 the contrary, it creates a
distant
Replace the word
distance
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 between the
parents
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 and their
children
Use synonyms
. preschool is a constructive place
when
Correct word choice
where
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child
Use synonyms
 development can manifest, and attract the skills
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 an early age. Communication and social skills with
children
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 can give the young individual a boost of
confident
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confidence
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.
In addition
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, physical activities and interaction with sports can help the
child
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 grow
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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, active day.
Safe
Add an article
A safe
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 place , preschool offers
the
Correct article usage
apply
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parents
Use synonyms
 who are busy in their working day a good, secure environment for their
children
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
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 ,
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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well trained
Add a hyphen
well-trained
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 teachers who are capable of handling all
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
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 of urgent needs of the
children
Use synonyms
 in the facility.
therefore
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,
parent’s
Change noun form
parents
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 can
insure
Correct your spelling
ensure
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 that their
children
Use synonyms
 are in safe hands .
Although
Linking Words
 preschool can handle safety and teaching
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
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 for the
children
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, It has
it’s
Replace the word
its
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 disadvantages .
firstly
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,
distant
Replace the word
distance
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 from the
parents
Use synonyms
 ,
as well as
Linking Words
 less time
spending
Replace the word
spent
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 in the house which are unfortunate
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
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 to have.
Also
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, that problem
create
Change the verb form
creates
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 a gap between the family ;
therefore
Linking Words
 , weakening the connection in the house . The decision
of enrolling
Change preposition
to enroll
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children
Use synonyms
 in a preschool
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 an early age is a major step in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern life .
although
Linking Words
 it can carry a good amount of advantages for the
child
Use synonyms
 and their
parents
Use synonyms
 , it can withstand a lot of disadvantages in their family lives.
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task response
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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