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Writing Samples
Band 5

Financial education should be a mandatory component of the school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#education #component #school #program
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It is obvious that financial
literacy
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 plays
crucial
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a crucial
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 role in every aspect of daily
life
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 and even
business
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 and economy. Some
people
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 said despite
of
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apply
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the importance of financial
literacy
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, it should not be added as an
education
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 factor to the
school
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program
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.
However
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, others believe that financial
education
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 should
a
Add a missing verb
be a
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mandatory component of the
school
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program
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. I completely agree that financial
education
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 should be
the
Correct article usage
a
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 mandatory part of the
school
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 curriculum. Some
people
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 believe that financial
education
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 is not so important in the
life
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 of a person.
Hence
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,
students
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 and pupil should focus their attention on some general
subjects
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 or should focus on some specific subject in which they would like to be an expert. Adding some extra components as a mandatory subject in
school
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Use synonyms
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
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 can lead to
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the lose
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lose
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loss
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the
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of the
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 attention of
students
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 from other important
subjects
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.
For example
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, it is better to be
master
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a master
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 in one
business
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 sector, than
knowing
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to know
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 a little bit
in
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about
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 different situations.
Moreover
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, in modern
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life
Add a comma
life,
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 it is
difficult
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more difficult
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 to learn
the
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apply
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different aspects and
subjects
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 than
learning
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to learn
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 one. So, the specialist will have not
wide
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a wide
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 range of skills and knowledge, but
deep
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a deep
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On the other hand
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, learning different
subjects
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 could be helpful in different
life
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 or work conditions.
The
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A
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 specialist who is aware of various phases,
aspects
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and aspects
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 of one job could be helpful to the
business
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,
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apply
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 because
this
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 specialist will see the whole image of
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business
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the business
a business
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 and understand how they are doing it and especially why they doing it. So, it creates
win-win
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a win-win
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situations
Fix the agreement mistake
situation
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 and helps to gain maximum profit from
this
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 situation. Even in
the
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apply
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daily
life
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 financial
literacy
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 could be handy. Because
people
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 in daily routine will face
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
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 where it is crucial to be aware of finance.
For instance
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, negotiations about payment or salary, tax calculations or even building own small
business
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.
Furthermore
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, it is necessary to give
school
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students
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possibility
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the possibility
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 of learning different
subject
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subjects
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, because
school
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students
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 are not sure in which sphere they will work or even
they
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if they
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 can change their
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
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 in the future and change their major In conclusion, financial
education
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 has both pros and cons. In my opinion, the advantages are more significant than the disadvantages, making financial
literacy
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 an advisable component of the
school
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program
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. The disadvantages should be thought of as a certain price that young
people
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 have to pay
due to
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 the characteristics of the world that we live in.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear structure with separate paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion. Use transition words to improve clarity and coherence.
task response
Provide specific examples and arguments to support your ideas, and ensure that all aspects of the task prompt are addressed.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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