In the past, people stored knowledge in books. Nowadays people store knowledge on the internet. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #books #store #internet

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With the advent of technology, nowadays it is common to save

knowledge

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on the Internet

instead

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of books or notebooks which were

main means

Suggestion

the main means

in the past. In

this

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essay, I will examine how the merits of storing

knowledge

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on the Internet outweigh its demerits. There are several detrimental aspects of using the Internet to keep

knowledge

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First

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and foremost, it is necessary to buy a digital device which people can use

such

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as cloud computing services. Owing to the high cost of the device, people might find it a burden to afford it.

Furthermore

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, the usage of electronic devices can lead to detrimental effects on the user’s body.

For instance

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, people’s eyes are more likely to be strained while they are staring at a monitor. What is worse, they can be exposed to electromagnetic waves from computers or mobiles. Despite those disadvantages mentioned above, there are significant advantages of using the Internet as a storage.

Firstly

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, it is definitely easy to access

knowledge

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on the web storage without any geographical constraints.

Besides

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, people are able to find their files from their laptops and mobiles wherever they want to use them.

In addition

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this

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, the process of sharing their

knowledge

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to others

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has been

just simple and quick. What is more, it is cost effective in a long term as people do not have to buy a lot of books, pens and even shelves to store a substantial amount of

knowledge

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. In conclusion, even though storing

knowledge

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on the Internet brings some adverse effects in terms of the budget to buy expensive devices and users’ health problems, there are clear virtues

such

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as accessibility and convenience.

Therefore

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, as for the purpose of the storage, using the Internet is better than the old way.

Submitted by Oh은주 on Thu May 28 2020

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

293 words

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In the past, people stored knowledge in books. Nowadays people store knowledge on the internet. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some cities create housing areas by providing taller buildings

In many countries, governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think is an appropriate use of government money?

In spite of advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about the pronlem?