In the past, people stored knowledge in books. Nowadays people store knowledge on the internet. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #books #store #internet

With the advent of technology, nowadays it is common to save

knowledge

on the Internet

instead

of books or notebooks which were

main means

Suggestion

the main means

in the past. In

this

essay, I will examine how the merits of storing

knowledge

on the Internet outweigh its demerits. There are several detrimental aspects of using the Internet to keep

knowledge

First

and foremost, it is necessary to buy a digital device which people can use

such

as cloud computing services. Owing to the high cost of the device, people might find it a burden to afford it.

Furthermore

, the usage of electronic devices can lead to detrimental effects on the user’s body.

For instance

, people’s eyes are more likely to be strained while they are staring at a monitor. What is worse, they can be exposed to electromagnetic waves from computers or mobiles. Despite those disadvantages mentioned above, there are significant advantages of using the Internet as a storage.

Firstly

, it is definitely easy to access

knowledge

on the web storage without any geographical constraints.

Besides

, people are able to find their files from their laptops and mobiles wherever they want to use them.

In addition

this

, the process of sharing their

knowledge

to others

Suggestion

has been

just simple and quick. What is more, it is cost effective in a long term as people do not have to buy a lot of books, pens and even shelves to store a substantial amount of

knowledge

. In conclusion, even though storing

knowledge

on the Internet brings some adverse effects in terms of the budget to buy expensive devices and users’ health problems, there are clear virtues

such

as accessibility and convenience.

Therefore

, as for the purpose of the storage, using the Internet is better than the old way.

Submitted by Oh은주 on Thu May 28 2020

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

293 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In the past, people stored knowledge in books. Nowadays people store knowledge on the internet. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many employees can now do their work from home using modern technology. However, this change may only benefit workers, not the employers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

More and more people are shifting to a plant-based diet. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people think that it is better for high school students to study a wide range of subjects than to focus on a narrow range of subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people say that providing access to clean water should be the main focus for international aid organizations. Others say that there are more important uses for international aid. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.