The graph below shows the demand for electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer.

The graph below shows the demand for electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer.
The picture demonstrates the demand
of
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for
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electricity utilized
in
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on
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a typical day in two seasons.
Overall
, it can be seen from the chart that the daily consumption of heat fluctuates during the whole period in both
winter
and summer.
In addition
,
that is
about twice as high in
winter
compared to
in
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apply
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summer. To commence with, the amount of electricity in
winter
and summer comprises
of
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apply
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nearly 35000 and more than 15000
units
of heat respectively, followed by several variations, in the first 16 hours. During the former season,
demand
Correct article usage
the demand
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of
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for
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electricity bottoms out at 30000
units
,
while
during the late season, that reaches a bottom at around 15000
units
. After that, the quantity of heat in
winter
goes up moderately until reaching a peak at nearly 50000
units
, prior to levelling off from
fourteenth
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the fourteenth
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hour to
sixteenth
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the sixteenth
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hour and
then
decreases noticeably, ending with 35000
units
.
By contrast
, that in summertime goes down minimally from 20000 to more than 15000
units
and
next
reaches a plateau, finishing with just under 20000
units
.
Submitted by Phạm Thị Hương Giang on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the first paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words winter, units with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "goes" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "goes" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reaches" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
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