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Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart shows the percentage of young people in higher education in 2000, 2005 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the percentage of young people in higher education in 2000, 2005 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #percentage #people #education #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The chart compares the ratio of young
people
Use synonyms
 in 4 countries who entered higher training from 2000 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, the participation rate of young
people
Use synonyms
 studying higher
discipline
Fix the agreement mistake
disciplines
show examples
 was on the increase in these countries, with the exception of
country
Use synonyms
 B.
In addition
Linking Words
, going into higher
education
Use synonyms
 among young
people
Use synonyms
 in
country
Use synonyms
 D was more popular than those in other countries. In 2000, 60% of young
people
Use synonyms
 in
country
Use synonyms
 D participated in university
education
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 the percentage of those in
country
Use synonyms
 C coming to university was 10% lower. The participation rate of young
people
Use synonyms
 in tertiary
education
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 A and B was lowest at 40%. In the
next
Linking Words
 10 years, the percentage of young
people
Use synonyms
 participating in higher
education
Use synonyms
 in
country
Use synonyms
 D increased suddenly to 80%
while
Linking Words
 a gradual increase of 20% was seen in the figure for
country
Use synonyms
 A.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the participation rate of young
people
Use synonyms
 in higher
education
Use synonyms
 in
country
Use synonyms
 C just grew slightly to over 50% in 2010
whereas
Linking Words
 there was no change in the percentage of students among young
people
Use synonyms
 in
country
Use synonyms
 B at 40% during the given period.
Submitted by Bui Quyen on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, country, education with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • trend
  • increase
  • decrease
  • notable
  • significant
  • comparison
  • higher education
  • young people
  • year-on-year
  • socio-economic factors
  • government policy
  • economic conditions
  • cultural attitudes
  • globalization
  • educational reforms
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