the diagram below shows the stages and and equipment used in the process of making matches. summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

the diagram below shows the stages and and equipment used in the process of making matches. summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
The draw illustrates how matches are being made and the equipment used in the process.
Overall
, it can be clearly seen that
this
is a linear process including 9 steps, starting with
peel
Wrong verb form
peeling
show examples
the log and finishing with the matches in
packaging
Correct article usage
the packaging
show examples
area
.
Firstly
, the log is blade by the peeler
then
it will be moved to the chopper and cut into small pieces of wood. After that, it will be soaked in the ammonium phosphate
tank
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
go to the dryer. Later, the
woods
Fix the agreement mistake
wood
show examples
will be put in a hopper,
go
Correct word choice
and go
show examples
through the metal duct to the storage
area
.
Next
, it will
be slide
Change the verb form
slide
show examples
down the inserter. The perforated steel belt will soak the
woods
Fix the agreement mistake
wood
show examples
in
Correct article usage
the parrafin
show examples
parrafin
Correct your spelling
paraffin
wax
tank
,
then
moved
Wrong verb form
move
show examples
to
based
Correct article usage
the based
show examples
chemicals
tank
, and
finally
is
Change preposition
to is
show examples
tip chemicals
tank
.
Subsequently
, the matches will
be move
Change the verb form
be moved
be moving
show examples
to the drying
area
and will be aired till dry.
Finally
, the matches will be packed in the packaging
area
.
Submitted by Kudo Hogake on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words area, tank with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "moved" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: