Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #entertainers #e #g #film #stars #pop #musicians #sports #money #job

It is true that today, many of the film stars, pop musicians and sport stars earnings became tremendous.

Also

such

of individuals were successfully able to gained the popularity, recognition and fame through the fans in society. Other than

this

, other categories

such

as interior designers, surgeons, doctor officers, professors, mining engineers and pilots need to compensate with high salary. I strongly agree that, other jobs

also

highly paid

likewise

the entertainers.

Therefore

this

essay will explain my viewpoints in detail and reach to a conclusion.

Firstly

, it can be argued that, entertainers are becoming very famous today due to the number of reasons. Some of the reasons would be their recognition, skills and fame. Due to the technological advancements in today's world, there is an immense change in the field of information technology and it

also

has been quite advantageous to the film industry, music, sports, medical and many other industries.

Moreover

, entertainers easily became popular thanks to the expansion of social media. Because of

this

, entertainers were able to gained a huge fan base and were able to shined their personalities via Facebook, Instagram, twitter and many more. On the other had, I believe that, doctors, engineers, scientists, military & security officers

Accept space

and researches are doing a huge

service

to the community.

Therefore

, government should pay better salary for their

service

This

type of jobs requires an academic knowledge, skills and adequate education while proper training would be necessary.

Also

such

of individual's

service

is highly essential to the growth of the country. That's why, it is required to compensate with higher salary and

this

will help to motivate them with self satisfaction. From the analysis of

this

subject, it can be concluded that, the some other jobs like doctors, engineers, scientists, military & security officers, and researches should be highly paid due to their larger

service

to the community.

Submitted by navodi on Sun May 31 2020

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

311 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Write about the following topic: Many manufactured food and drinkproducts contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Some people think it is more important to provide parks and sports facilities than to provide shopping centers in these new town for people to spend their free time. To what extent doo you agree or disagree?

Some people say that the main environment problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say there are more important environment problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.