The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The obesity is becoming one of the most i
ncreasigly
advancing in amount or intensity
increasingly
debated issues. One feasible solution which can really cope with
this
Linking Words
disaster seem to be an introducing various sport clubs into
s
Use synonyms
chool's curriculum.
Suggestion
the school's curriculum
This
Linking Words
essay is going to elucidate why
this
Linking Words
practise can indeed alter the situation in
school
Use synonyms
,
h
Linking Words
owever will
Accept comma addition
however, will
not significantly influence the general condition of overweight people.
To begin
Linking Words
with, presenting more physical and sport programs can seriously change s
tudents
Suggestion
students'
student's
attitude towards their health. Putting it more precisely, they will probably discover one new chance to cut back on their excess k
illograms,
one thousand grams; the basic unit of mass adopted under the SystFme International d'UnitTs
kilograms
as they do not need to make something special about it, it is easily affordable in limits of
school
Use synonyms
, where they go from day to day.
For instance
Linking Words
, one obese boy d
o not wish
Suggestion
does not wish
to visit separate fitness complexes, despite that, it is far more convenient for him to enjoy it inside of
school
Use synonyms
with his comrades. In short,
school
Use synonyms
is the rightful place of physical education lessons to be performed, as more and more pupils will enter them.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, observing the overall state of the age of overweight people, it ought to be clarified that approximately two thirds of them are merely young adults or old people.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is now explicit that
such
Linking Words
school
Use synonyms
innovations would not affect obese people in any way. There are no longer students or pupils anymore,
consequently
Linking Words
the result will be zero. To sum it up, age plays a major role among the population. Drawing a conclusion, even though
school
Use synonyms
reformations can improve c
urrent situation
Suggestion
the current situation
with obese junior generation, it will not touch those ones who are substantially older all in all.
Submitted by Ismail Makhmudov on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity rates
  • health care system
  • physical education
  • instill
  • long term
  • raise awareness
  • healthier lifestyle choices
  • nutritional education
  • active transport
  • quality of instruction
  • facilities and equipment
  • diet control initiatives
  • community sports programs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: