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Writing Samples
Band 5

Living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#cities #people’s #health
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It is said that people have had to face many
health
Use synonyms
 problems when living in urban areas. While I agree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion in some aspects, I
also
Linking Words
 believe that there are some positive impacts on the
health
Use synonyms
 of all individuals in metropolises. There are some reasons why life in big cities is detrimental to people’s physical
health
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the polluted environment in urban areas is more seriously polluted compared to rural areas. The air pollution, caused by coal and fuels from factories, CO2 emission from vehicles,...
would
Suggestion
Would
 make citizens suffer respiratory diseases
such
Linking Words
 as lung cancer, asthma...
For example
Linking Words
, in Beijing, because of the highest level of air pollution, the number of patients with respiratory symptoms has
increasesd
made greater in size or amount or degree
increased
quicklydramatically
Suggestion
 in recent years.
Besides
Linking Words
, because life in a metropolis is not easy, many individuals could get mental
health
Use synonyms
 problems. These people are often busy and many, they work
overtime which
Accept comma addition
overtime, which
 easily causes
stressso
Suggestion
stress so
 that they are easy to get into stressful situations.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, I believe that municipalities play a crucial role in improving human
health
Use synonyms
 because It offers plenty of modern facilities and in infrastructures. It means that
healthcare
Suggestion
health care
 systems in cities are better with a range of hospitals that have well-qualified doctors and, caring nurses. They could treat illnesses and save people’s
livesfe
a characteristic state or mode of living
lives
 when needed in the fastest way.
Moreover
Linking Words
, gyms or yoga
centers
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centres
 are good choices for citizens in metropolises who want to improve
health
Use synonyms
. Accessing fitness
centers
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centres
 aids them not only to have a healthy
body but
Accept comma addition
body, but
also
Linking Words
 to relax after hard-working hours. To sum up, for all the reasons mentioned above, I strongly believe that living in big cities has both advantages and disadvantages for people’s
health
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Phạm Linh on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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