The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household ... The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this

#first #energy #australian #household #second #greenhouse #gas #emissions

The first chart illustrates

proportion

Add an article

the proportion

show examples

energy

used in an average

Austrialian

Correct your spelling

Australian

household,

while

the

second

chart demonstrates

percentage

Add an article

the percentage

show examples

of the

greenhouse

gas

emissions because of

occuring

Correct your spelling

occurring

this

energy

consumption.

Overall

, what stands out from the graph

that

Add a missing verb

is that

show examples

proportion

Correct article usage

the proportion

show examples

of the most

energy

consumtion

Correct your spelling

consumption

in Australian

household

Fix the agreement mistake

households

show examples

is registered by heating,

wheras

Correct your spelling

whereas

the percentage of the least

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is witnessed by cooling.

Moreover

The

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

water heating has

highest

Change the article

the highest

show examples

rate

greenhouse

gas

emission,

while

cooling

experience

Fix the agreement mistake

experiences

show examples

the lowest

proportion

of it. As can be seen from the chart,

heating

Correct article usage

the heating

show examples

proportion

for

energy

use in Australian household come top with just above 40%, followed by water heating has a

rate

of 30%.

However

, cooling for

energy

consumtion

Correct your spelling

consumption

show

Correct subject-verb agreement

shows

show examples

the least

rate

at 2%.

On the other hand

water

Correct article usage

the water

show examples

heating

rate

for

greenhouse

gas

emission

account

Change the verb form

accounts

show examples

for just above 30% of total

greenhouse

gas

emission. The

second

highest percentage is other applications, which stand at just under one-

third

. The lowest

rate

is shown by cooling at 3%.

Submitted by MERVE DEMİR on Mon Jun 01 2020

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "second, while".

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, energy, greenhouse, gas, rate with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "stands" was used 2 times.

▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

165 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Energy consumption
Greenhouse gas emissions
Sustainable practices
Energy efficiency
Renewable energy
Fossil fuels
Carbon footprint
Eco-friendly appliances
Insulation
Solar panels
Recycling
Climate change
Kilowatt-hour (kWh)
Emissions-intensive
Energy audit
Smart meters

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The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household ... The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railway and trams. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Is is often said that government spend too much money on project to protect wildlife, while there are other problems that are more important. Do you agree or disagree?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people think all university student should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Is it a positive or negative trend?