The first chart below shows the results of a survey which sampled a cross-section of 100,000 people asking if they travelled abroad and why they travelled for the period 1994-98. The second chart shows their destinations over the same period.
the table
exhibit
the years 1994, 1995,1996,1997,and 1998 had a Change the verb form
exhibits
number
of 100000 travellers
. Each travelling for holiday
, Business, Visit to friends and relatives or other reasons. The most people who travelled Add an article
the holiday
for
holiday was in the Change preposition
on
year
1998 with 20700 travellers
. As for business it had it
most Correct pronoun usage
its
travellers
at
the Change preposition
in
year
1998 which are 3957 travellers
. Moving on to the visit to friends and relatives, its most travellers
that consist of 3181 persons were
in the Change the verb form
was
year
1998. Lastly
for other reasons which had it most travellers
at
the Change preposition
in
year
1998, with 990 travellers
. This
shows that the most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
year
with most
Correct article usage
the most
travellers
was the year
1998, then
followed by 1997, then
1996,then
1994, lastly
1995.
the Correct word choice
and lastly
travellers
had travelled to Western Europe, North America, or other areas. 1998 had the most number
of travellers
in Western Europe, in addition
also
in North America and also
in other areas. Which holds the highest number
of travellers
in every destination. Followed by 1997 in the
western Europe Correct article usage
apply
then
1996, then
1994, lastly
1995. As for North America we have 1997 after 1998 Correct word choice
and lastly
then
1996, Replace the word
than
then
1994, and lastly
1995. Lastly
for other areas, we will have 1997 after 1998, Add a comma
,Lastly
then
1996, 1994, lastly
1995. which shows that 1995 had the least Correct word choice
and lastly
number
of travellers
in every country.Submitted by Siti Nurfarahaein binti Mohd. Nosiaan on
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, lastly".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, travellers, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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