IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The chart below shows the percentage of female members of parliament in 5 European countries from 2000 to 2012.

The chart below shows the percentage of female members of parliament in 5 European countries from 2000 to 2012.
The proportion of woman
members
Use synonyms
 taking part in
parliament
Use synonyms
 in five different European nations between 2000 and 2012 is compared in the line graph It is clear from the graph that the percentage of females in the
parliament
Use synonyms
 of five countries
all
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
increased during the research period.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the
figure
Use synonyms
 for the UK experienced the most dramatic change. In 2000, the percentage of females elected to
parliament
Use synonyms
 in Germany was
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
, at around 33%,
while
Linking Words
 the
figure
Use synonyms
 for the UK was significantly lower, at only roughly 3%. Meanwhile, women made up about 26% of the total
members
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the Italian
parliament
Use synonyms
, compared to approximately 17% and 25% of Belgium and France respectively. In 2012, the proportion of woman
members
Use synonyms
 in
parliament
Use synonyms
 in Italy increased slightly by 13% to nearly 40% and became the highest
figure
Use synonyms
 in the chart. There were insignificant growths to 37% and 32% in the percentages of
members
Use synonyms
 in
German
Correct article usage
the German
show examples
 and French
parliament
Use synonyms
 being female respectively.
Similarly
Linking Words
, 2012 witnessed a remarkable rise of around 20% to 23% in the rate of females in the UK
parliament
Use synonyms
, which was
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the same
figure
Use synonyms
 as Belgium.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words members, parliament, figure with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • parliament
  • gender equality
  • trends
  • percentage
  • significant progress
  • minimal progress
  • yearly analysis
  • country-specific
  • events
  • elections
  • policies
  • initiatives
  • speculating
  • predictive
  • representation
  • tracking
  • issues
  • addressing
What to do next:
Look at other essays: