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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.

The chart below shows the amount of leisure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.
#amount #leisure #time #men #women #employment #status
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The bar chart compares the amount of free
time
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 per
week
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 that males and females of five
categories
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 of employment status had between 1998 and 1999.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 men enjoyed more
hours
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 of
leisure
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time
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 per
week
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 than
women
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 in three out of five
categories
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.
However
Linking Words
, only figures for
women
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 were shown in two
categories
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, namely employed part-
time
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 and housewives. Regarding the full-
time
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 employed,
obviously
Add a comma
,obviously
show examples
 men had slightly more
leisure
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time
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 than
women
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, with approximately 45
hours
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 of free
time
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 per
week
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, compared to around 38
hours
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 for
women
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. Obviously, unemployed and retired people of both genders enjoyed the most
hours
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 of
leisure
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time
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the figures for retired males and females were exactly the same as those for the unemployed, at around 85 and 78
hours
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 of free
time
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 per
week
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, respectively. Housewives enjoyed 50
hours
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 of spare
time
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, a little more than part-
time
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 working
women
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 who had just over 40
leisure
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hours
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 each
week
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. No data is given for men in either of these
categories
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.
Submitted by MERVE DEMİR on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, week, categories, hours, leisure, women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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