An increasing number of children are overweight which could result in many problems when they grow older both in terms of health and health care cost. Why do u think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve this problem?

#children #terms #health #care #cost

There is a surge in the number of children becoming obese;

this

could lead to issues influencing their health and medical expenses as they become

matured

Suggestion

mature

. The cause of

this

problem is unhealthy

eating which

Accept comma addition

eating, which

can be rectified by consuming foods containing essential nutrients in equal proportions. A lot of

caregivers

are busy with their careers, so they always look for the easiest meals to prepare.

This

results

Suggestion

result

in children being overweight and susceptible to various illnesses. Eating fast food that

lack

Suggestion

lacks

essential nutrients may result in weakness of the body’s immune system, leading to the occurrence of various ailments.

For instance

, my

neighbors

a person who lives (or is located) near another

neighbours

are never around to take care of their son or monitor his food habits, they just discovered that their son was suffering from obesity and

this

is because he depends on fast food restaurants daily for his meals. Eating healthy would cure

this

problem. When children are given nutritious meals they are equipped against diseases and

this

could

results

Suggestion

result

more healthy

Suggestion

healthier

children and fewer illnesses. Staying fit completely depends on maintaining a healthy living which includes adding adequate portions of fruits and vegetable to the children’s everyday meals. A good example is my 5years old daughter that started eating a balanced diet when she was 8months old, she has grown into

fine young girl

Suggestion

a fine young girl

that never falls sick and we seldom visit the hospital.

Therefore

, practicing a healthy lifestyle reduces the risk of health problems occurring individuals. In conclusion, I believe that unhealthy eating exposes the young ones to Obesity and various diseases, which can be controlled by

caregivers

implementing a healthy lifestyle in growing children.

Submitted by EJEME EIGBE on Tue Jun 02 2020

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

271 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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An increasing number of children are overweight which could result in many problems when they grow older both in terms of health and health care cost. Why do u think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve this problem?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behaviour both on and off the field, can have negative influences. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

some people feel that free time is something valuable.

Every one of us should become a vegetarian because eating meat can cause various health problems.

The best way to solve the world's environmental problem is to increase the price of fuels. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is sometimes considered that school education should be paid attention to academic subjects, which would be useful for their future careers, but I think some personʼs decision should be appreciated who has a talent for acting and wish subjects like music and sport .