An increasing number of children are overweight which could result in many problems when they grow older both in terms of health and health care cost. Why do u think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve this problem?

#children #terms #health #care #cost

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There is a surge in the number of children becoming obese;

this

Linking Words

could lead to issues influencing their health and medical expenses as they become

matured

Suggestion

mature

. The cause of

this

Linking Words

problem is unhealthy

eating which

Accept comma addition

eating, which

can be rectified by consuming foods containing essential nutrients in equal proportions. A lot of

caregivers

Suggestion

are busy with their careers, so they always look for the easiest meals to prepare.

This

Linking Words

results

Suggestion

result

in children being overweight and susceptible to various illnesses. Eating fast food that

lack

Suggestion

lacks

essential nutrients may result in weakness of the body’s immune system, leading to the occurrence of various ailments.

For instance

Linking Words

, my

neighbors

a person who lives (or is located) near another

neighbours

are never around to take care of their son or monitor his food habits, they just discovered that their son was suffering from obesity and

this

Linking Words

is because he depends on fast food restaurants daily for his meals. Eating healthy would cure

this

Linking Words

problem. When children are given nutritious meals they are equipped against diseases and

this

Linking Words

could

results

Suggestion

result

more healthy

Suggestion

healthier

children and fewer illnesses. Staying fit completely depends on maintaining a healthy living which includes adding adequate portions of fruits and vegetable to the children’s everyday meals. A good example is my 5years old daughter that started eating a balanced diet when she was 8months old, she has grown into

fine young girl

Suggestion

a fine young girl

that never falls sick and we seldom visit the hospital.

Therefore

Linking Words

, practicing a healthy lifestyle reduces the risk of health problems occurring individuals. In conclusion, I believe that unhealthy eating exposes the young ones to Obesity and various diseases, which can be controlled by

caregivers

Suggestion

implementing a healthy lifestyle in growing children.

Submitted by EJEME EIGBE on Tue Jun 02 2020

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

271 words

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An increasing number of children are overweight which could result in many problems when they grow older both in terms of health and health care cost. Why do u think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve this problem?

Fully explain your ideas

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In some countries, more and more people are people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Some people think that it is beneficial for children to do paid work, while others think that it can be harmful for children. What are the advantages and disadvantages of children doing paid work?

Organised tours to remote places and communities are increasingly popular. Is this a positive or negative development for the local people and the local environment?