Violence among young people has increased dramatically over the past 50 years. This rise moves in tandem with the growth in violent media.Thus, the conclusion can be drawn that violent media is the main cause of violence among young people. Do you agree or disagree?

#violence #people #years #rise #moves #tandem #growth #media #conclusion

Over the

last

five decades, violence among

younsters

a young person of either sex

youngsters

has drastically increased.Several individuals allege that the development of violent media in

television

and internet and from

this

, many

infere

reason by deduction; establish by deduction

infer

inferred

that violent media is rapidly increasing the crime rate among young people. To me, I partially agree

ith

expresses the means used

with

this

stetement

a message that is stated or declared; a communication (oral or written) setting forth particulars or facts etc

statement

, as I see other reasons

Suggestion

for

this

behaviour

To begin

with, there should not be

denying

Suggestion

denied

of the fact that social media and

television

are affecting not only on the young, but on

aged

Suggestion

aging

adults as well. News companies report on newspapers and

television

extremely cruel content to attract bigger audience.

Subsequently

, viewers in the face of children- one of the most affectionate part of the auditory soak up the violence from screens on a daily basis. Another striking point is that vicious computer

games

Suggestion

game

, which consist of tasks

such

as killing people or stealing

another

not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied

other

folks' property promote anti-social

behaviour

Thus

, children from youngest ages are used to cruelty and vandalism, even though it all is in virtual reality.

On the other hand

, the impact of

television

and social media seems to be trivial

comparing

Suggestion

compared

comparable

to the relationship with

society

and parents.

First

of all, it is parents liability to boost children's logical abilities to distinguish what is "good" and "bad".

Moreover

, hostility and sometimes rejection of children by

society

may be another cause of violent

behaviour

, as young people want to settle in the community and after unsuccessful attempts, they go for rigid path to make their name.

Therefore

, lack of involvement of parents in children's life and

inability

Suggestion

the inability

society

to act

empathetically

are crucially causing the violent

behaviour

. In summary, there is no doubt that violent media invokes corresponding

behaviour

among young people,

however

, the role of parents and

society

also

causes

this

rising trend.

Submitted by Thành Nguyễn Tiến on Wed Jun 03 2020

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

296 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Violence among young people has increased dramatically over the past 50 years. This rise moves in tandem with the growth in violent media.Thus, the conclusion can be drawn that violent media is the main cause of violence among young people. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some countries,more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Some people think more public money should be spent on roads and motorways than on public transport systems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Is fast food to blame for obesity in society or is gaining too much weight the responsibility of the individual? What factors contribute to obesity? Why do you think that children are becoming obese?

The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000, there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Stress is now a major problem in many countries around the world. What are some of the factors in modern society that cause this stress, and how can we reduce it?