Violence among young people has increased dramatically over the past 50 years. This rise moves in tandem with the growth in violent media.Thus, the conclusion can be drawn that violent media is the main cause of violence among young people. Do you agree or disagree?

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Over the

last

Linking Words

five decades, violence among

younsters

a young person of either sex

youngsters

has drastically increased.Several individuals allege that the development of violent media in

television

Use synonyms

and internet and from

this

Linking Words

, many

infere

reason by deduction; establish by deduction

infer

inferred

that violent media is rapidly increasing the crime rate among young people. To me, I partially agree

ith

expresses the means used

with

this

Linking Words

stetement

a message that is stated or declared; a communication (oral or written) setting forth particulars or facts etc

statement

, as I see other reasons

Suggestion

for

this

Linking Words

behaviour

Use synonyms

To begin

Linking Words

with, there should not be

denying

Suggestion

denied

of the fact that social media and

television

Use synonyms

are affecting not only on the young, but on

aged

Suggestion

aging

adults as well. News companies report on newspapers and

television

Use synonyms

extremely cruel content to attract bigger audience.

Subsequently

Linking Words

, viewers in the face of children- one of the most affectionate part of the auditory soak up the violence from screens on a daily basis. Another striking point is that vicious computer

games

Suggestion

game

, which consist of tasks

such

Linking Words

as killing people or stealing

another

not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied

other

folks' property promote anti-social

behaviour

Use synonyms

Thus

Linking Words

, children from youngest ages are used to cruelty and vandalism, even though it all is in virtual reality.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the impact of

television

Use synonyms

and social media seems to be trivial

comparing

Suggestion

compared

comparable

to the relationship with

society

Use synonyms

and parents.

First

Linking Words

of all, it is parents liability to boost children's logical abilities to distinguish what is "good" and "bad".

Moreover

Linking Words

, hostility and sometimes rejection of children by

society

Use synonyms

may be another cause of violent

behaviour

Use synonyms

, as young people want to settle in the community and after unsuccessful attempts, they go for rigid path to make their name.

Therefore

Linking Words

, lack of involvement of parents in children's life and

inability

Suggestion

the inability

society

Use synonyms

to act

empathetically

Suggestion

are crucially causing the violent

behaviour

Use synonyms

. In summary, there is no doubt that violent media invokes corresponding

behaviour

Use synonyms

among young people,

however

Linking Words

, the role of parents and

society

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

causes

this

Linking Words

rising trend.

Submitted by Thành Nguyễn Tiến on Wed Jun 03 2020

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for instance
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to give a clear example
such as
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take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

296 words

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Violence among young people has increased dramatically over the past 50 years. This rise moves in tandem with the growth in violent media.Thus, the conclusion can be drawn that violent media is the main cause of violence among young people. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some cities have few controls over the design and construction of housing and office buildings. People think that they should be free to choose the design they like. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In many different countries, shops and products are the same. Some people think ıt is a positive development, while others believe it is a negative development. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

many people spend less time with their family. what could be the reasons for this. is this a negetive or possitive trend

Organized tour to remote areas and community is increasingly popular. Is it a positive or negative development for the local people and the environment?

some people say that what individua;s do to protect cannot make difference, others say that individuals can protect environment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.