Nowadays, people are spending more time away from their homes because they spend longer in their workplace. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

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To start with,
although
Linking Words
in the modern
globalization
Suggestion
globalized
individuals can acquire salary by working at home, unfortunately
high amount
Suggestion
the high amount
of masses
expend
Suggestion
expends
their long hours at offices, it exactly provides people staying away from households, both
statement
Suggestion
statements
, pros and cons will be discussed in
this
Linking Words
essay. It is truly
fact
Suggestion
a fact
the fact
that by working in
variety
Suggestion
a variety
of developed companies for long hours, one can posses more extra financial aids and current salaries,
in other words
Linking Words
, additional payments exclaim to cultivate more, it
facilitate
Suggestion
facilitates
humankind with
wide range
Suggestion
a wide range
of opportunities and to attain reserves quicker, as well as the one beneficial point for
person
Suggestion
people
a person
the person
persons
who lives lonely at
house
Suggestion
the house
, if being alone more hours at home it has a great way to appear stressful situations. Another side of the coin, passing multitude periods at
workplace
Suggestion
the workplace
would be disappointing for family expressly for children who are used to spending countless duration together.
Actually it
Accept comma addition
Actually, it
is
such
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kind of
weaknesses
Suggestion
weakness
development
also
Linking Words
it brings people more illnesses after a long period during the work, especially some people stays numerous periods in front of computers, it disposes sicknesses
such
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as backache and
eyes
Suggestion
eye
pain
also
Linking Words
In other conditions one become fat because of shortage of outdoor activities. In a nutshell, as I mentioned that it would be profitable for workers and relationships if they attempt to spend more time with family members
also
Linking Words
with normal period works..
Submitted by Uralbek Begmatov on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • career progression
  • earning potential
  • enhanced productivity
  • skill sets
  • work-life balance
  • personal well-being
  • negatively impacting
  • increased stress
  • health issues
  • burnout
  • cardiovascular diseases
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