Nowadays, people are spending more time away from their homes because they spend longer in their workplace. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

#people #time #homes #workplace

To start with,

although

in the modern

globalization

Suggestion

globalized

individuals can acquire salary by working at home, unfortunately

high amount

Suggestion

the high amount

of masses

expend

Suggestion

expends

their long hours at offices, it exactly provides people staying away from households, both

statement

Suggestion

statements

, pros and cons will be discussed in

this

essay. It is truly

fact

Suggestion

a fact

the fact

that by working in

variety

Suggestion

a variety

of developed companies for long hours, one can posses more extra financial aids and current salaries,

in other words

, additional payments exclaim to cultivate more, it

facilitate

Suggestion

facilitates

humankind with

wide range

Suggestion

a wide range

of opportunities and to attain reserves quicker, as well as the one beneficial point for

person

Suggestion

people

a person

the person

persons

who lives lonely at

house

Suggestion

the house

, if being alone more hours at home it has a great way to appear stressful situations. Another side of the coin, passing multitude periods at

workplace

Suggestion

the workplace

would be disappointing for family expressly for children who are used to spending countless duration together.

Actually it

Accept comma addition

Actually, it

such

kind of

weaknesses

Suggestion

weakness

development

also

it brings people more illnesses after a long period during the work, especially some people stays numerous periods in front of computers, it disposes sicknesses

such

as backache and

eyes

Suggestion

eye

pain

also

In other conditions one become fat because of shortage of outdoor activities. In a nutshell, as I mentioned that it would be profitable for workers and relationships if they attempt to spend more time with family members

also

with normal period works..

Submitted by Uralbek Begmatov on Thu Jun 04 2020

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

232 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

career progression
earning potential
enhanced productivity
skill sets
work-life balance
personal well-being
negatively impacting
increased stress
health issues
burnout
cardiovascular diseases

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Nowadays, people are spending more time away from their homes because they spend longer in their workplace. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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