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Writing Samples
Band 4

some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that develop the mind such as reading and doing crossword puzzles others feel that it is important to give one’s mind a rest in leisure time. Discuss.

#people #leisure #time #activities #mind #crossword #puzzles #one’s #rest
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To start with, as we all are human we obviously should have a rest on recreation
time
Use synonyms
 to get out the stress of work and everyday life.
Also
Linking Words
 on the other
side we
Accept comma addition
side, we
 need to do some essential and beneficial tasks that we have not finished yet
also
Linking Words
for
Suggestion
to
 stay healthy we have to do
physically
Suggestion
physical
 exercises.
Actually nobody
Accept comma addition
Actually, nobody
 can say what is the best
.
Accept space
.
we
Suggestion
We
 will discuss both sites in
this
Linking Words
 essay,
First
Linking Words
 of all It is known that individuals want to relax after their
day
Use synonyms
 of hard work, they may relax
by
Suggestion
with
 some interesting things
such
Linking Words
 as watching films or playing a computer game, partially these activities are useful but all of them bring laziness to people. It is considered that it is wasting the expensive unmatched
time
Use synonyms
, the extra important point is that the person is getting fatter
day
Use synonyms
 by
day
Use synonyms
, the inactivity may bring people a dangerous
sicknesses
Suggestion
sickness
. On the completely other side, in our society the most people prefer to choose to be more active in their leisure period the cause they do very sitting
jobs
Accept comma addition
jobs, for
for
Linking Words
instance individuals
Accept comma addition
instance, individuals
 many spend all
day
Use synonyms
 sitting on a chair without breaking and they are busy bee with doing their own works
,
Accept space
,
 at the and a working the maybe have a backache and all of their body become tired so in
this
Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
 they need to improve health and collect the energy by doing some activity
such
Linking Words
 as going to gym swimming and
also
Linking Words
 going to play football. In the nutshell in my perspective the wrong way is to remain at home in your free
time
Use synonyms
 if you
have fully sitting
Suggestion
have fully been sitting
are fully sitting
were fully sitting
have fully sat
were fully sat
 work, the most vital thing is that people want to stay healthy by choosing what is the best for themselves.
Submitted by Uralbek Begmatov on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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