IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries, there are many social problems involving teenagers. Some people say this is because parents spend much of their time at work and not at home, do you agree or disagree?

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First
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 of all, it is understandable that some people blame parents who have a hectic life due to their a lot of work because they think young students need parents' help. In a busy parents' point of view,
however
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 they want to spend their days with kids, they would have no option, but just have to work all day long. There are some possibilities that if pupils have to be alone for a long
time
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 at home, they could be bored and they would pursue more provoking things, which can make social problems in the end.
However
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, I think students even without their parents can grow up as a great adult. And there are tons of people who already became a good person without them. Plus, I have heard some news saying some kids whose parents had enough
time
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 made severe problems.
This
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 is why I think that it is more important to educate kids well than just
time
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 with parents itself. If other adults,
such
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 as their teachers or older graders let young students know how to use their
time
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 wisely and fruitfully, any children can handle their lives even though they have no parents or their parents are very busy. In conclusion, overall I disagree with the opinion because I think teaching them well is more important than spending
time
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 for a long term.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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