Many people think that every individual is responsible for their happiness, but some people believe that are other external factors that influenced us. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is
wildly
to a great degree
widely
held belief that achieving
happiness
is
responsibility
Suggestion
the responsibility
of
individual
Suggestion
the individual
individuals
, but there is a strong counter argument amongst sections of the people that cheerfulness
is affect
Suggestion
is affected
by extrinsic factors.
However
, I am of the opinion that
this
is a matter to be debated in light of several factors before a reasonable conclusion can be drawn. To embark on the
first
side,
happiness
is
very subjective topic
Suggestion
a very subjective topic
. It varies from person to person. It is a sense of feeling. Many believe that
happiness
is
state
Suggestion
a state
of mind and heart and it can
achieved
Suggestion
achieve
by
Suggestion
with
yoga and meditation, it leads to inner peace or satisfaction.
Also
, when individuals get pleasure from playing, laughing, spending time with family and friends and so on, they can feel an inner satisfaction which is a kind of
happiness
. So,
happiness
depends on our intrinsic conditions.
For example
, the job promotion could get
happy some people,
Suggestion
some people happy,
whereas playing sports please others.
On the other hand
, some people
believes
Suggestion
believe
that external factors like home, car, money,
cloths
clothing in general
clothes
and other material
possesions
the act of having and controlling property
possessions
posses
makes person joyful. Some satisfy by
fulfil
Suggestion
fulfilling
their dream or achieving big in life and
this
thing bring
happiness
in their lives. So, for
this
group of people external factors
is
Suggestion
are
pivotal for good and happy life. They think that without these needs,
happiness
not achieve. After analysing both the views, it is hard to take one
side but
Accept comma addition
side, but
I am if the opinion that inner satisfaction and peace makes people
happy
Suggestion
happier
than external factors.
Submitted by kaushik suhagiya on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: