Many people think that every individual is responsible for their happiness, but some people believe that are other external factors that influenced us. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #happiness #factors

It is

wildly

to a great degree

widely

held belief that achieving

happiness

responsibility

Suggestion

the responsibility

individual

Suggestion

the individual

individuals

, but there is a strong counter argument amongst sections of the people that cheerfulness

is affect

Suggestion

is affected

by extrinsic factors.

However

, I am of the opinion that

this

is a matter to be debated in light of several factors before a reasonable conclusion can be drawn. To embark on the

first

side,

happiness

very subjective topic

Suggestion

a very subjective topic

. It varies from person to person. It is a sense of feeling. Many believe that

happiness

state

Suggestion

a state

of mind and heart and it can

achieved

Suggestion

achieve

Suggestion

with

yoga and meditation, it leads to inner peace or satisfaction.

Also

, when individuals get pleasure from playing, laughing, spending time with family and friends and so on, they can feel an inner satisfaction which is a kind of

happiness

. So,

happiness

depends on our intrinsic conditions.

For example

, the job promotion could get

happy some people,

Suggestion

some people happy,

whereas playing sports please others.

On the other hand

, some people

believes

Suggestion

believe

that external factors like home, car, money,

cloths

clothing in general

clothes

and other material

possesions

the act of having and controlling property

possessions

posses

makes person joyful. Some satisfy by

fulfil

Suggestion

fulfilling

their dream or achieving big in life and

this

thing bring

happiness

in their lives. So, for

this

group of people external factors

Suggestion

are

pivotal for good and happy life. They think that without these needs,

happiness

not achieve. After analysing both the views, it is hard to take one

side but

Accept comma addition

side, but

I am if the opinion that inner satisfaction and peace makes people

happy

Suggestion

happier

than external factors.

Submitted by kaushik suhagiya on Thu Jun 04 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

250 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people think that every individual is responsible for their happiness, but some people believe that are other external factors that influenced us. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get new events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary.

number of arrests per year for using illegal drugs between 1991 to 2005

Eco-tourism often involves visiting remote and fragile ecosystems, which raises concerns about the impact on local cultures and indigenous communities. What problems can this cause? How can these problems be resolved?