Some believe that people should not continue to work once they reach the age of retirement. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your experience

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It is a common belief the

retirement

Use synonyms

can

occurs

Suggestion

occur

the late

Suggestion

the later

years of an average lifespan of a human,

therefore

Linking Words

individuals should not keep

to work

Suggestion

working

too many years. I firmly agree in terms of some reasons which elaborate in the essay. In the modern life, an average lifespan of the human is increasing because of the development of the technology and life standard.

Linking Words

THerefore

Suggestion

Therefore

Therefor

, the governments and other authorities do not want to get retired of the workers.

For example

Linking Words

, In the past decades, the age of

retirement

Use synonyms

was less than 5 years in my country. The employers could reach to retire in their early fifties, while these days that age is at least sixty. Admittedly, a young individual is diligent compared to

Suggestion

older one. Due to, the elders should not join

Suggestion

the employee area after their late 50s.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the majority of the authorities hire older employers rather than young and

inexperimented

Suggestion

in experimented

people. Accurately, they have high knowledge in their

professionality

in a professional manner

professionally

to eliminate some troubles in the company.

Although

Linking Words

, they have not adequate energy to produce in a highly profit,

in addition

Linking Words

, they are not open-minded to catch a new technology

such

Linking Words

as an application, or a new machine, even if a full column

excel

Suggestion

excels

table.

This

Linking Words

is the reason, they should rest when they have been given their 20 years in a job. Meanwhile, unemployment among the youth, is

decline

Suggestion

declined

declining

prefering

like better; value more highly

preferring

interns and new graduate individual. I strongly agree both of these people will have been happier than now, if the older ones get retire, and their job and responsibility is undertaken by the young ones. In conclusion, the

retirement

Use synonyms

age should not be more than late fifties to engage benefit for the society. At the

last

Linking Words

words, if the elders can desire

retirement

Use synonyms

pay check earlier, the rate of unemployment will decrease. To add, both of the new beginners and professionals will have been

satistied

filled with satisfaction

satisfied

and productive.

sevil livesFri Jun 05 2020

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

328 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

retirement age
pension systems
financial security
physical and mental health
youth unemployment
job opportunities
fresh perspectives
hobbies and interests
passionate workers
flexible retirement options
social security
recuperate
decades of hard work
contribute skills and experience
financial difficulties

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Some believe that people should not continue to work once they reach the age of retirement. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your experience

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Many jobs used to be done by hand, but nowadays an increasing number of them are done using machines instead. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this development.