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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries the level of crime is increasing and crimes are becoming more violent. Why do you think this is and what can be done about it?

#countries #level #crime #crimes
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In many Countries, the amount of
crime
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 is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of
Crime
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? How can we deal with those
causes
an occurrence of something
cases
? Criminal activities have shown growth in most parts of the world. There are several
reasons but
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reasons, but
 in my opinion two major reasons are lack of formal
education
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 and unemployment and they are related to each other. A recent study shows that
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crime rate
Suggestion
the crime rate
 has declined by approximately 30% in those countries where better employment opportunities are available like South Korea, UAE and Qatar. To succeed in creating better job opportunities the government should introduce right policies and implement them without any discrimination.
For instance
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, the UAE has introduced a new system that makes it easy to start your own business and have strict
labor
a social class comprising those who do manual labor or work for wages
labour
 law to protect employee rights which ultimately helps to divert young people from any kind of criminal activities. Another solution which can play an important role in preventing
people especially
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people, especially
 youngsters from indulging in any kind of illegal activities is formal
education
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. China is the right example for that.
Recently Tim
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Recently, Tim
Cook CEO
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Cook, CEO
 of Apple Corporation said in his interview that China holds the biggest pool of skilled
labor
a social class comprising those who do manual labor or work for wages
labour
 than any other country.
This
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 was only possible through introducing free formal technical
education
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 policy to their young people and providing
onsite
taking place or located at the site
on-site
 experience at the same time. People can
also
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 play an important role in
reduction
Suggestion
the reduction
 of
crime
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 rate by being more vigilant and responsible in their
neighborhood
a surrounding or nearby region
neighbourhood
. To conclude, lack of
education
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 and employment opportunities are the main reasons for the increase in the
crime
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 rate. By providing vocational
education
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 for free or at affordable rates and by creating more employment opportunities the government can address
this
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 problem to a great extent.
Submitted by ali sasani on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crime rate
  • violent crimes
  • socioeconomic factors
  • law enforcement
  • technology
  • education
  • employment
  • drug abuse
  • alcohol abuse
  • poverty
  • inequality
  • effectiveness
  • investing
  • job creation
  • social support
  • community engagement
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